Funny Koozie Sayings – Adding Some Laughter to Your Beverage Cooler

Beer: because adulting is hard.

I’m just here for the beer.

This beer isn’t going to drink itself.

I’m not drunk, just avoiding potholes.

In dog beers, I’ve only had one.

I run on caffeine, chaos, and beer.

Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere… let’s drink!

Beer: it’s a hug in a koozie.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Drink responsibly… but not right now.

I may not be perfect, but my beer is.

Beer guaranteed to make your clothes fall off.

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.

Drink now, speech later.

If you can read this, bring me a beer.

Less talking, more drinking.

My koozie is cooler than yours.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

If you don’t like beer, we can’t be friends.

Drinking beer counts as cardio, right?

Life is brew-tiful.

Save water, drink beer.

Beer: because no great story ever started with a salad.

I’m not drunk, I’m just a little intoxicated by you.

I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic, but my koozie holds 12 ounces.

Relationship status: just me and my beer.

Beer makes everything better… except for the morning after.

I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.

Beer: it’s what’s for dinner.

Drink local, support your beer belly.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

Beer is my spirit animal.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good… with this beer.

Step aside coffee, this is a job for beer.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer and that’s basically the same thing.

Beer pong champion since birth.

Beer: it’s a lifestyle.

I may not be funny, but my beer is.

My koozie keeps my beer colder than your ex’s heart.

I didn’t choose the beer life, the beer life chose me.

Beer: making people more attractive since forever.

In beer we trust.

Drink up! It’s cheaper than therapy.

I like my beer like I like my weekends: long and full of fun.

Beer: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

I’m not drunk, I’m just in a parallel universe.

Beer: the official language of motivation.

I’m not old, I’m vintage, like this beer.

Beer is the answer. What was the question again?