Funny Famous Quotes
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you. – Robin Williams
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. – Douglas Adams
The trouble with life is there’s no background music. – Michael W. Smith
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown
I can resist everything except temptation. – Oscar Wilde
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. – George Carlin
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. – Groucho Marx
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – Steve Martin
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. – Unknown
I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies too. – Unknown
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. – Bob Hope
The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. – Erma Bombeck
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Edison
It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang
I’ve been on a calendar, but never on time. – Marilyn Monroe
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. – Emo Philips
Funny Famous Quotes part 2
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day. – Unknown
I’m not sure if I’m depressed. How would I know? I mean, I’m not sad. But I’m not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I’m alone at night, I forget how to feel. – Unknown
The best way to predict the future is to create it. – Peter Drucker
If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. – Steven Wright
I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. – Unknown
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. – Unknown
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. – Charles Lamb
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants. – Unknown
Don’t be a hard rock when you’re really a gem. – Lauryn Hill
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey
If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. – Henry Youngman
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. – Oscar Wilde
When nothing goes right, go left. – Unknown
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott (The Office)
If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking. – George S. Patton
If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. – Albert Einstein
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
I never said most of the things I said. – Yogi Berra
I’m not sure if I have free time or if I’m just forgetting everything. – Unknown
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. – Steve Jobs
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. – Will Rogers
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde
I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours. – Cheshire Cat
The only thing that stands between me and total happiness is reality. – Douglas Adams
I’m a mirror. If you’re cool with me, I’m cool with you. The moment you do something to upset me, I’ll strike you out. – Eminem
The future is uncertain, but the end is always near. – Jim Morrison
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – Steve Martin
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. – Unknown
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. – Unknown
