Quotes

Humorous Quotes on the Battle of the Sexes – Man vs. Woman

Men are like Bluetooth, they connect to you when you’re nearby, but turn off when you walk away.

Women are like Wi-Fi, connecting everyone and everything around them.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact during an argument? Breasts don’t have eyes!

Women can multitask effortlessly. Men can barely accomplish one task without getting distracted by a shiny object.

Men want to be the king of the castle, but women are the ones who hold the keys to the castle.

Men may be from Mars, but women are the ones who make it feel like home.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Women fake it in bed, men fake it in relationships.

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see them without an erection, make them a sandwich.

Women have two emotions: I’m fine and I’m not fine. Proceed with caution.

Men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Women are like cars, they can go from zero to crazy in seconds.

Men are like coffee, the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night.

Women are like tea, you never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.

Men are like computers, useless without a woman telling them what to do.

Women are like Google, they know everything.

Men age like wine, women age like cheese – the longer they age, the stronger they become.

Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman.

Women will never understand crash diets because men are never an emergency!

Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond.

Men are like remote controls, easy to use and always getting lost in the couch cushions.

Women are like passwords, you can never remember them when you need them the most.

Men are like toilets, always occupied or full of crap.

Women are like shopping carts, they can never make up their mind and always end up costing more than you expect.

Men are like mosquitoes, annoying and constantly buzzing around you.

Women are like mosquitoes, they leave you scratching your head wondering what you did wrong.

Men are like snowstorms, they’re cold, unpredictable, and leave a mess behind.

Women are like hurricanes, they come in with a bang and leave your house a wreck.

Men are like sushi, you never know what’s inside them until it’s too late.

Women are like ice cream, sweet and delicious until they give you brain freeze.

Men are like balloons, one prick and they’re done.

Women are like rubber bands, they can stretch to any length but will eventually snap back.

Men are like superheroes, always saving the day after creating the problem in the first place.

Women are like superheroes, juggling multiple tasks and maintaining their sanity.

Men are like dogs, always excited to see you and constantly begging for attention.

Women are like cats, independent, mysterious, and only want attention when they’re in the mood.

Men are like shoes, the right fit can make you feel like you’re walking on air.

Women are like purses, you never have enough and they always cost way too much.

Men are like televisions, they provide entertainment but need a remote to function properly.

Women are like books, they may seem quiet on the outside, but their pages hold endless stories.

Men are like board games, you never know who’s going to cheat and ruin the fun.

Women are like puzzles, challenging and constantly keeping you guessing.

Men are like ice cubes, easy to chill with but quick to melt under pressure.

Women are like sunshine, they brighten up your day and make everything better.

Men are like boxers, always ready for a fight but easily knocked out.

Women are like referees, always making sure the game is played fair.

Men are like socks, they always seem to disappear when you need them the most.

Women are like handbags, carrying all the essentials and always looking stylish.

Men are like the weather, constantly changing their moods and hard to predict.

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