Strange Quotes

Life is too short to wear matching socks.

I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.

Normal is boring. Embrace your weirdness.

I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on a hard drive somewhere.

Don’t worry, be happy. Or not, it’s up to you.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, you never know how much is left.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If you can’t be a good example, be a great cautionary tale.

Never underestimate the power of a well-timed nap.

I may be crazy, but crazy is better than boring.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life give them vodka and have a party.

I don’t have a bucket list, but I do have a ‘fuck it’ list.

Normal is just a setting on the dryer.

I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me.

Life is too short to blend in with the crowd.

They say laughter is the best medicine, so let’s overdose together.

If you can’t be the sharpest tool in the shed, at least be the sparkliest.

I’m not a morning person. I’m not an afternoon person either. I’m more of a ‘whenever-I-get-enough-sleep’ person.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

I don’t make mistakes, I create unexpected learning opportunities.

I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.

The more men I meet, the more I love my dog.

I live in my own little world, but it’s okay, they know me here.

Life’s too short to take everything seriously. Laugh like a hyena as often as possible.

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need a nap.

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. Unless you can be a unicorn, then be a unicorn.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m functioning.

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

The only exercise I do is running late.

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.

Today is cancelled. Go back to bed.

I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not fake.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity challenged.

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.

I’m allergic to mornings.

I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

I don’t need a prince charming, I need a dragon slayer.

My hobbies include overthinking and drinking coffee.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.

I make mistakes, but I also make really good pancakes.

I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.

If being crazy means living life to the fullest, then call me insane.

I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.

Life is too short to wear boring underwear.