Schmidt New Girl Quotes – A Collection of Hilarious and Memorable Lines

I’m a man of many nicknames, but you can call me Schmidt.

Life is just a series of tests and anyone who says differently is failing.

Winston, you can’t be an Eldert!

I operate under the assumption that everybody is just trying their best.

I always commit, Jess. If I commit, I always commit!

You know what they say, when the world gives you an ugly hat, you wear it.

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to dress like a lumberjack for Thanksgiving, okay? I’m a hipster dufus, not a hipster doofus.

When people see a child and a puppy, they know exactly what’s going on. They’re bonding. They’re cuddling. But when men do it, it’s just weird.

Where there is confidence, there is power, and I am very confident in my abilities to make you laugh.

I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.

I am a damn snack, and I deserve to be treated like one.

Rules are for fools, and I am no fool.

I’m just a man and I’ve tasted the fruits of life, so I know what I am talking about.

I want you to see me as the jelly and yourself as the peanut butter. Call me Jelly. Or PB.

Every great love story begins with a guitar solo.

Why blend in when you were born to stand out?

I may not have a six-pack, but I have a strong personality.

I’m like a fine wine – I get better with age.

My abs are all about the situation.

I’m here to bring some sunshine into your life, one awkward moment at a time.

It’s not about the size of the dog in the fight, it’s about the size of the fight in the dog. And let me tell you, I’m a purebred fighter.

I’m a sexy Santa Claus, and I’m ready to give you the gift of Schmidt.

True confidence is not about what you wear on the outside, it’s about what you feel on the inside.

I don’t need a gym membership, I have mirrors.

I don’t break hearts, Jess. I turn them on.

Schmidt always knows how to put the ‘man’ back in ‘romance.’

Who needs love when you can have passion?

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m a pretty damn good face.

I’m a modern gentleman with old-fashioned charm.

Romance is my middle name, but you can call me Schmidt for short.

I may not have it all figured out, but at least I have impeccable style.

If life gives you lemons, make sure they’re designer lemons.

I’m not just a guy, I’m an event.

Even when life gives you a broken heart, just remember – you’ll always have Schmidt.

I’m not just funny, I’m hilarious.

Every great love story needs a little bit of Schmidt.

I may not be a superhero, but I’ve got super confidence.

I’m not just a friend, I’m a friend with fabulous fashion advice.

The world may be gray, but I’m here to bring the color.

I don’t need luck, I have charm.

Never underestimate the power of a well-timed pun.

I may not be a poet, but I’m fluent in the language of love.

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m a pretty exceptional face.

I’m not just a lover, I’m a passion connoisseur.

Who needs a crown when you can have impeccable fashion sense?

I’m not just a dreamer, I’m a doer.

I may not be perfect, but my style is impeccable.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into a fabulous cocktail.

Love may be a battlefield, but I’m here to fight for your heart.

I may not have a magic wand, but I can make your dreams come true.