Funny Shrek Quotes – Bringing Laughter and Memorable Lines from the Beloved Ogre

Ogres are like onions, they have layers. And donkeys, well, they have bad breath.

In the morning, I’m making waffles! And I promise not to use them as a pillow.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a dragon? A whole lot of trouble and some pretty interesting fire-breathing snacks.

Fiona: I have never met an ogre before. Shrek: Well, I’ve never met a princess before either. But I didn’t judge you by your royal decrees.

I’m an ogre, not a morning person. Donkey, stop singing, and put on some earplugs!

Shrek: Donkey, have you ever seen a talking donkey before? Donkey: Well, no, but if you keep talking, I might stop believing in you.

I’m all about peace and love, but if someone takes my swamp, there might be a little ogre rage involved.

Say what you want about ogres, but we have pretty impressive cooking skills. Anyone up for some roasted knights?

Shrek: Donkey, why are you following me? Donkey: Because I have nowhere else to go. Besides, what’s better than hanging out with a grumpy ogre?

I may have a green complexion, but my fashion sense is on point. Just look at my swamp chic!

Donkey: You know, not everybody likes onions. Shrek: Well, everyone likes ogres, so they better start liking onions too!

Shrek: Get outta my swamp! Donkey: Okay, okay, jeez! Don’t have a cow… umm, ogre.

Shrek: Donkey, did you eat my dinner? Donkey: No, but I might have had a bite. Or two. Okay, the whole thing.

I have to share my swamp with talking animals and fairytale creatures, but do I get invited to their tea parties? No. Just because I’m an ogre…

Donkey: Shrek, do you ever get tired of being so… misunderstood? Shrek: Nah, I just use it as an excuse to scare people away from my onion collection.

Shrek: Donkey, why do you always follow me around? Donkey: Because you’re like a big, green safety blanket. Plus, your swamp is pretty cozy.

Donkey: Shrek, you’re an ogre, you must know how to roar. Shrek: Roar? Donkey, I’ve been practicing my dramatic sighs, not roars.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, I hope the beholder loves green skin and layers of swamp moss.

Shrek: Donkey, do you ever feel like we’re living in a fairytale? Donkey: Well, I did turn into a stallion once, so yeah, definitely a fairytale.

Shrek: Donkey, you’re making my ears bleed with your endless chatter. Donkey: Sorry, Shrek, I’ll switch to interpretive dance.

Donkey: Shrek, why can’t we be friends with the knights? Shrek: Because they’re always trying to defeat me in the joust, and I’m a sore loser.

Shrek: Donkey, how did you get that sword? Donkey: It’s a long story involving a magic beanstalk, a goose, and a lot of donkey shenanigans.

Donkey: Shrek, I have a bone to pick with you. Shrek: Is it one of those knight bones you like to chew on?

Shrek: Donkey, you sure have a lot of opinions for someone who constantly finds themselves in sticky situations. Donkey: It’s all part of my charm, Shrek.

Donkey: Shrek, have I ever told you how much I appreciate your layers? Shrek: Yes, Donkey, at least once a day, usually accompanied by a strange donkey hug.

Shrek: Donkey, I’m in no mood for ogre jokes today. Donkey: Oh really? You must be in your ‘ogre-tired’ phase.

Donkey: Shrek, how come you never shower? Shrek: Why shower when the swamp rain takes care of that?

Shrek: Donkey, have you ever had a frog smoothie? Donkey: Eww, Shrek, that is just wrong on so many levels.

Donkey: Shrek, do you believe in fairy godmothers? Shrek: No, but I believe in smashing pumpkins with my ogre strength.

Shrek: Donkey, let’s explore the world outside of the swamp. Donkey: Can we start with a coffee shop? I’ve always wanted to try a triple-shot caramel macchiato.

Donkey: Shrek, why are you always so grouchy? Shrek: It comes with the territory of being an ogre. Now, are you going to keep talking or help me scare away trespassers?

Shrek: Donkey, did you just tell a terrible joke or did the swamp monsters finally learn to speak English? Donkey: A little bit of both, I think.

Donkey: Shrek, why do you always wear that same outfit? Shrek: Because I’m all about fashion recycling, Donkey. Plus, it’s a classic look.

Shrek: Donkey, what do you think of my swamp? Donkey: It’s a little muddy for my taste, but it has a certain ‘ogre-chic’ quality to it.

Donkey: Shrek, have you ever considered becoming a stand-up comedian? Shrek: Nah, I prefer scaring people. It’s my ogre specialty.

Shrek: Donkey, do you ever get tired of being the sidekick? Donkey: Well, as long as I get to be the funny one, I’m fine with it.

Donkey: Shrek, if you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? Shrek: Super-strength and an endless supply of swamp swampiness, of course.

Shrek: Donkey, why do you always talk in riddles? Donkey: It’s because I have a mysterious aura, Shrek. Plus, it’s really entertaining.

Donkey: Shrek, do you think we’ll ever find true love? Shrek: Well, if you find a talking dragon who doesn’t mind bad breath, anything is possible.

Shrek: Donkey, why do you always have to be so unpredictable? Donkey: It’s my way of keeping life interesting, Shrek. Plus, it drives you crazy.

Donkey: Shrek, I think we need to go on a road trip. Shrek: Do we have to invite the gingerbread man? I can’t handle his cookie crumbs in the backseat.

Shrek: Donkey, have you ever thought about running for mayor of the swamp? Donkey: I’d have to think about it, but I’d definitely campaign on a platform of endless waffles for everyone.

Donkey: Shrek, what’s your secret to staying green and handsome? Shrek: It’s all about the swamp mud facials, Donkey. Keeps the complexion smooth and slime-covered.

Shrek: Donkey, why do you always try to mediate conflicts between fairytale creatures? Donkey: Because somebody has to be the voice of reason in this insane swamp.

Donkey: Shrek, someday we’ll look back at these adventures and laugh. Shrek: Donkey, I’m laughing at your jokes right now, can’t you tell?