Quotes from the Friends TV Show

We were on a break! – Ross Geller

How you doin’? – Joey Tribbiani

Pivot! – Ross Geller

I’m not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? – Chandler Bing

Could I be wearing any more clothes? – Joey Tribbiani

It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. – Joey Tribbiani

Joey doesn’t share food! – Joey Tribbiani

We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the Earth. – Phoebe Buffay

You’re my lobster. – Phoebe Buffay

If she were a president, she would be Baberaham Lincoln. – Joey Tribbiani

Joey: Ross, I’m tellin’ ya, she’s the one. Ross: Joey, you’ve had a lot of girlfriends. Joey: She’s different. Ross: Because she’s bald? – Joey Tribbiani and Ross Geller

Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it! – Monica Geller

Monica: It’s not even a word! Joey: Oh yeah? Hey, Joey, look it up in your dictionary! Joey: Hey, Monica, why are you using my dictionary? – Monica Geller and Joey Tribbiani

They don’t know that we know they know we know. – Phoebe Buffay

It’s like all my life, everyone’s always told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ But what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse or a hat? No, I don’t want you to buy me a hat, I’m saying I am a hat. It’s a metaphor, Daddy! – Rachel Green

I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna cry. *starts crying* – Chandler Bing

Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Ross: Chandler, for the last time, metaphors are important. Chandler: Oh, right. I’m sorry. I forgot that when you say something clever, the rest of us have to go English major on your ass. – Chandler Bing and Ross Geller

Phoebe: Look at that guy, he’s gotta be 90. Ross: Phoebe, that’s our table. Phoebe: You made an old man very happy.- Phoebe Buffay and Ross Geller

Unagi. – Ross Geller

I wish I could, but I don’t want to. – Phoebe Buffay

Oh my God, they killed Joey! – Chandler Bing

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian… Did I say that out loud? – Phoebe Buffay

Joey: I’m curvy and I like it. I guess I just really love how everything feels on me. Chandler: What about your clothes? Joey: I was not talking about my clothes. – Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing

Janice: Oh… my… God! Chandler: Stop repeating my name! I’m not one of Pavlov’s dogs! – Janice and Chandler Bing

Monica: I’m gonna make you cry again, aren’t I? Chandler: Yes, and I don’t know why, ’cause I’m just so happy… No, that came out wrong! No, I’m happy, not because of you. I mean, not that having you here would detract from my happiness… – Monica Geller and Chandler Bing

We were on a commercial break! – Ross Geller

Rach, you gotta find out if he’s in the same place you are. Otherwise, it’s just a moo point. – Chandler Bing

Phoebe: I wish I could, but I don’t want to. Monica: That is the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard. Phoebe: Yeah, and? – Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller

Joey: I love women. I have sisters. I’m a good person to discuss things with. Chandler: When did you ever discuss things with anyone? Joey: Well, just this one time. Our building had to vote on whether or not to allow dogs. And, you know, I had everybody over to my place and I made them discuss it. I was the moderator! – Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing

I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love! – Chandler Bing

Phoebe: Oh, no! Let me see the back! Monica: Why, what’s on the back? Phoebe: Oh, just a big red stamp that says ‘Extra Long, Extra Thin’. – Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller

I’m Chandler, I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable. – Chandler Bing

Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he’s in the same place you are. Otherwise, it’s just a moo point. Rachel: Joey, you know there’s no such thing as a moo point. Joey: Yeah, that’s right. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo. – Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green

Rachel: Alright, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers…it doesn’t make much of a difference. Ross: (pointing at Emma) They’re still waiting for you to have tea parties with your little princess. Rachel: Oh, honey, she’s not a princess. Ross: Then why is she wearing that hat? Rachel: Oh…’cause she likes it. Oh, sweetie, let’s put that over here. Look, this hat is ugly. – Rachel Green and Ross Geller

I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? – Chandler Bing

Ross: I think I figured mine out. If we have a girl, annnnd a boy, we’ll name them: Emma if it’s a girl, and Daniel if it’s a boy. Rachel: Oh, I love that. Ross: And if there’s two boys? Rachel: Chandler, and Chandler. – Ross Geller and Rachel Green

Phoebe: What’s Monica’s problem? Chandler: Well, must be 50 ways. Phoebe: What? I don’t like her? Chandler: No, it’s should not be on the list. Phoebe: There’s a list? What, Ross is on the list with no sex? That’s not fair, why should all you guys go to London and Ross has to stay here?’ I am not satisfied. – Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing

I can handle this. ‘Handle’ is my middle name. … Actually, ‘handle’ is the middle of my first name. – Chandler Bing

Joey: I am an actor. I will act. Chandler: Oh, oh, I’ve got a really good scene for you. The audition for Chandler. – Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing

Well, here’s to the first of many crushing disappointments. – Chandler Bing

Ross: I used to come here when I was a kid. My parents would bring me up here all the time and it would just run around and it was the closest thing I had to a pet. You know, except instead of throwing a stick, you have to throw me one. Oh, look, a squirrel. – Ross Geller

You have to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance! – Joey Tribbiani

The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything. – Joey Tribbiani

Phoebe: I can’t even imagine living in a world where I couldn’t make someone bittersweet chocolate cake… Chandler: Or where ducks didn’t have little hats. – Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing

You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? – Joey Tribbiani

I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? – Chandler Bing

You know, I can’t believe this. The woman of my dreams, and I didn’t even catch her name. – Joey Tribbiani

Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to. Monica: All right, come on Pheebs, it’s not that big a deal. Phoebe: Oh, okay, but I don’t wanna. Monica: I know you like things simple, but not everything. – Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller

Pheebs, could I ask you a question? Could it BE any more annoying? – Chandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay

Monica: Okay Rach, you with me? Rachel: Of course I’m with you. Monica: Okay. Jump because you want people to like you! Darling, I don’t know how to tell you this, but when people first meet you, they’re not generally bowled over by your winning personality. Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, Phoebe-style. I can do it. – Monica Geller and Rachel Green