Moira Rose Quotes

Fold in the cheese, David. Fold it in like you’re President of the United States.

I’d take a look in the mirror, but I can’t stand to see myself in the daylight.

This wine is a slap in the face, and I am here for it.

What’s the point of having lips if you can’t sashay around your business?

I dreamt in color last night, dear. It was just awful.

I could polish off a box of wine in one sitting. But I prefer to savor it over several days, like a rich person.

I once conquered a city as a publicist. Some would call it a small town, but you’ve never heard of it.

I’m a talented taste-maker, David. People look to me for guidance in all things stylish.

Oh, I’m a celebrity in this town. Like Dr. J or Queen Latifah.

I live for the applause, David. But I don’t dress for it.

I care, David. I care what pants I’m wearing.

I’ve been told I have a dry sense of humor. At least that’s what the therapist said as I checked myself out.

I’m sorry, dear. I don’t speak broke.

I don’t do things for free. I’ve acquired a taste for luxury, and it’s not going away.

I grew up behind a curtain, David. And I intend to keep it that way.

A little black dress is a necessary evil, David. Every woman should own one.

Don’t make me run, David. I’m full of allergens.

I expect these pillows to be fluffy like a cloud, not flat like a tortilla.

I’d rather be slaying vampires, but I’m here, indulging in mediocre conversation.

I’m a hopeless romantic, David. But also, a realist who wears only black.

That’s the problem with small towns, David. The general store only sells one type of cheese.

I’m not too proud to beg, David. But I won’t be wearing any animal prints.

I’m a woman of substance, David. That’s why I only eat the finest cheeses.

I may be small, but my attitude is larger than life, dear.

I may prefer black, David, but I’m not opposed to a little sparkle.

I’m too fabulous for fear, David. I face danger head-on with a perfectly arched eyebrow.

I’m not being negative, David. I’m simply being realistic in the face of mediocrity.

I’ve been called many things, David. But one thing I’ll never be called is ordinary.

I may not know the value of a dollar, David. But I do know the value of a good pair of shoes.

I’m not one to toot my own horn, David. But if I did, it would be the most glamorous toot you’ve ever heard.

I have a refined palate, David. I can taste the difference between a $3 and a $300 bottle of wine.

I’m a walking epitome of elegance, David. So naturally, I’m allergic to floral prints.

I don’t sweat, David. My body naturally excretes a fine mist of Chanel No.

I don’t need an Instagram filter, David. My life is naturally filtered in black and white.

I may not have a heart full of love, David. But I do have a closet full of designer shoes.

I’m not asking for much, David. Just a little bit of luxury in this sea of mediocrity.

I’m a diamond in the rough, David. But one day, I’ll shine so bright they’ll need sunglasses to look at me.

I’m not one to brag, David. But I can order a latte in five different languages.

I don’t sweat, David. I sparkle.

I wasn’t born to be a follower, David. I was born to turn heads and break hearts.

I’m not a fan of small talk, David. But I am a fan of big diamonds.

I don’t need a prince charming, David. I need a fairy godfather with an unlimited credit card.

I may not be the Queen of Sheba, David. But I’m damn close to being the Queen of Sass.

I don’t believe in settling, David. Except when it comes to my seating arrangements.

I may not be a godfather, David. But I am a godmother to good taste.

I don’t do things halfway, David. I go all in or not at all.

I may look delicate, David. But I have the strength of a thousand Chanel bags.

I don’t mind being underestimated, David. It gives me an advantage when I outshine everyone.

I’m not one to mince words, David. I prefer to mince cocktail garnishes.

I don’t believe in miracles, David. I believe in creating my own magic.