Hilarious Funny Weight Loss Quotes

Dieting is like trying to squeeze into skinny jeans, it’s a struggle but totally worth it!

I lost so much weight that I now have to do squats just to pick up a piece of paper!

My diet is like a blind date, hoping for a miraculous transformation but always ending up disappointed.

I’m on a seafood diet – I see food and eat it!

They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried eating a donut?

Weight loss is like a roller coaster, except the roller coaster is made of kale and the screams are coming from my stomach.

I’m not overweight, I’m undertall!

Instead of counting calories, I’m counting the seconds until I can eat again.

I’m not fat, I’m just nutritionally gifted!

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips…unless I do some burpees!

I tried giving up chocolate, but then I remembered I’m not a quitter.

I don’t sweat, I glisten…while attempting a workout!

Abs are great, but have you tried pizza?

My weight loss journey is like a never-ending game of hide and seek…except the weight is always seeking me.

If only weight loss prizes were as enticing as takeout menus!

I have a love-hate relationship with the gym – I hate going, but I love leaving.

They say you should eat to live, but I live to eat!

I’ve got 99 problems and my weight is every single one of them.

Who needs a waistline when you can have dessert?

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

I’m not chubby, I’m just two steps away from being fabulously curvy!

I’m not dieting, I’m just on a seafood cleanse – I see food and I cleanse it from my plate.

The best exercise is bending over backwards to get that last slice of pizza.

I’m not losing weight, I’m gaining disco confidence!

Weight loss is like a lifelong game of Tetris, constantly trying to fit all the pieces together.

Eating a salad is like going to a party and only hearing cricket sounds.

I don’t need a personal trainer, I need a pizza taster.

My weight loss strategy is to run out of snacks, and then run out of the house.

I never met a cookie I didn’t like, except when it was tiny and low-calorie.

They say laughter burns calories, so I must be on a diet 24/7!

I only eat in three places: home, away, and every place in between.

My goal weight is to be as happy as I am when I’m eating pizza.

I’ve finally found the secret to weight loss: eating on a brightly colored plate – it distracts from the food!

They say you are what you eat, so I guess I’m a pizza dipped in chocolate.

I’m not fat, I’m just overflowing with awesomeness.

Weight loss is like a dance party – sometimes you step on your own toes, but the music keeps you going.

My diet consists of 90% snacks and 10% regret.

I’m not on a diet, I’m just preparing for a food-eating competition.

I have a love-hate relationship with the scale – I love it when it shows a loss, and hate it when it shows a gain.

I’m on a seafood diet – I see food and I don’t eat it…until later.

I don’t always exercise, but when I do, I exercise my right to eat more.

Weight loss is like a bag of chips – you can’t just have one.

Life is short, eat the cake…just don’t eat the whole cake.

I’m not on a diet, I’m just practicing for the future when food becomes extinct.

The only thing heavier than a dumbbell is the guilt of skipping a workout.

I don’t need wings to fly, just a really strong will to resist the office donut tray.

I’m not overweight, I’m just under-tall!

I’m not fat, I’m just so full of love that it spills over into my stomach.

Calories don’t count if you eat them standing up.

My family tree is full of apples, but I’m more of a nacho chip.