I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
I have a strict no-wine-before-noon policy… unless it’s being poured into my mimosa.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I drink to forget I drink too much.
I swear to drunk I’m not God.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast.
Wine is bottled poetry.
Save water, drink wine.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.
A good friend is like a fine wine, they get better with age.
Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.
I like my coffee black, just like my soul… and my beer.
I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, it’s usually in large quantities.
I’m not drunk, I’m just embracing my inner pirate.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer.
Life is too short to drink bad wine.
Why is the rum always gone?
Wine a bit, you’ll feel better.
I’m not old, I’m vintage… just like this wine.
I have mixed drinks about feelings.
Love and wine have similar notes.
I’m not a wine snob, I’m a wine connoisseur.
I never drink water. Fish fuck in it.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
Drinking alcohol is the perfect way to end one day and start another.
There’s always time for a glass of wine.
Wine and friends are a great blend.
Life is better with a margarita in hand.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a few drinks… as long as they’re served in lead crystal glasses.
I don’t need a therapist, I have whiskey.
I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to be surrounded by friends.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Coffee in the morning, wine in the evening.
Wine is like duct tape, it fixes everything.
The only advice I can give you: Drink heavily.
Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.
I don’t cry over spilled milk, but I might cry over spilled beer.
I have a lotta bottle. It’s just that my bottle is in another cellar.
My doctor prescribed beer, but he never said how much.
Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
Everything tastes better with a little tequila.
Certain things should be handled by alcohol.
I like to think that my midnight snack is a glass of wine.
Wine is the answer. What was the question again?
Wine improves with age… I improve with wine.
Good friends don’t let friends drink alone.