Billy Madison Quotes: Wisdom and Humor from the Hilarious Comedy

Welcome to the world of Billy Madison Quotes, where hilarity meets absurdity! Billy Madison, a 1995 American comedy film starring Adam Sandler, has become a cult classic with its outrageous one-liners and memorable moments. This page is dedicated to bringing you the best quotes from the movie that will make you laugh out loud and reminisce about the comedic genius of Adam Sandler. From Billy’s unconventional academic journey to his eccentric relationships with characters like O’Doyle and the formidable Principal Anderson, prepare to indulge in a collection of quotes that will tickle your funny bone and brighten your day. Whether you’re a devoted fan or new to the Billy Madison universe, these quotes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and ignite a sense of nostalgia. So sit back, relax, and get ready to relive the hilarious moments that have etched a special place in the hearts of comedy lovers worldwide. Explore our selection of Billy Madison Quotes and let the laughter begin!

Stop looking at me, swan!

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

I make fart noises when I’m uncomfortable.

Chlorophyll? More like borophyll!

I can barely keep my eyes open.

It’s called the Industrial Revolution, Mrs. Bueller.

You know the industrial revolution? It would not have been possible without asbestos.

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace!

If I have to go back to school, I’ll go crazy!

I can’t wait to go to high school. I hear the chicks there are way older.

Now you’re all in big, big trouble!

I’m more of a hands-on kind of learner…

Did you know that a bee’s wing is only 1/250th the width of a human hair?

I can count to one… in Spanish!

My mom says I’m cool.

I’m not a baby, I’m a man! I’m an anchorman!

I’m gonna dip my balls in it!

I’m the smartest man alive!

I have the metabolism of a cheetah!

I said a billion things wrong yesterday.

I ate some bad Thai food… it’s coming out of me like lava!

I’m the only guy who can say ‘back to school’ and mean it.

He called the shit ‘poop’!

You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants!

I am the walrus!

It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

I’m the scariest guy in school!

You’re in big trouble, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!

I can’t wait ’til I graduate and get to college… just imagine all the beer!

I’m going to school to find a wife, not a job. How many jobs require a wife?

I have a test today. I know I shouldn’t have stayed up all night watching women’s wrestling.

Gee, I always thought you were a teacher, Mr. Madison.

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do what everyone thinks I’m gonna do, which is just flip out!

I can spell, spell something for me!

Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair!

I don’t feel so good… I think I have the poop again.

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude. If you know what I mean.

I’m here to learn, everybody. I’m a sponge!

This is great! I failed the spelling test.

I’m not the crazy one, you’re the crazy one!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility!’ If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin’ dog!

O’Doyle rules!

Back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I’m not a fool.

I guess I’m ready to face my fear of large objects.

I’m not going to school today. We’re in the middle of a French-Vietnamese war.

Just remember, the key to success is not being an idiot.

Suntan lotion is good for me… you protect me, teehee!

I can’t wait to go to school and learn some cool shit.

If there is one thing I know, it’s that you can’t force people to love you, just like you can’t force them to grow hair on their bald spots.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’m afraid of the dark… snakes, heights, spiders, women.

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