Brooklyn 99 Quotes – The Funniest and Most Memorable Lines from the Beloved Comedy Series

I’m the human form of the emoji.

I’m jacked, and I’m the most awesome person in the world.

I’m not a regular detective, I’m a cool detective.

I’m not afraid of work, I can lay in bed for hours.

I’m not a detective, I’m a disco dancer.

I’m the Greek god of biscuits. Or maybe I’m just hungry.

I’m always ready to solve crimes and eat donuts. And I’m all out of donuts.

I’m a detective not a magician, but I can still make your troubles disappear.

I’m an amazing detective because I always follow two simple rules: stay hot, don’t get murdered.

I’m the Sherlock, and you’re the Watson, but without the mustache.

I’m the best detective in Brooklyn, but don’t tell anyone else, they might get jealous.

I don’t make mistakes, I solve mysteries.

I don’t need a badge, I have my charm.

I don’t care about the rules, I care about catching bad guys.

I don’t know how to express my emotions, but I can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute.

I don’t need luck, I’ve got skills.

I don’t need backup, I’m a one-man crime-solving machine.

I don’t need a cape, I am a superhero in a leather jacket.

I don’t do things by the book, I write my own rules.

I don’t need a partner, I’m in a committed relationship with justice.

I don’t play by the rules, I throw them out the window and solve crimes my way.

I don’t need a promotion, I need a case to solve.

I don’t need a gun, my charm is my weapon.

I don’t need a desk, I solve crimes from my bean bag chair.

I’m the master of disguise, I can blend in with any dance floor.

I’m the king of the precinct, long may I reign.

I’m a detective, not an accountant, but I can still count on solving the case.

I’m not normal, I’m a detective. Normal is boring.

I’m a detective, not a doctor, but I can still solve any mystery.

I don’t need a promotion, I need a bigger whiteboard to solve all these cases.

I don’t need a weapon, my wit is my greatest defender.

I’m the puzzle master, and every crime is just another piece to solve.

I don’t need a mask, my face is already a mystery.

I don’t need a partner, I’ve got a whole squad behind me.

I don’t need a cape, I have a leather jacket.

I’m not afraid of danger, danger is afraid of me.

I’m the detective with a heart of gold and a mind like a steel trap.

I’m not interested in fame, I’m interested in catching bad guys.

I’m the detective with the cool shades and the even cooler moves.

I’m the detective with the mysterious past and the bright future.

I’m not a sidekick, I’m the star of the show.

I don’t need a spotlight, I shine in the darkness of crime.

I don’t need a sidekick, I work better alone.

I’m the detective with the killer instincts and the killer dance moves.

I’m the detective with the smarts and the charm to solve any case.

I’m not just a detective, I’m a force to be reckoned with.

I don’t need luck, I create my own destiny.

I don’t need a blueprint, I build my own path to justice.

I’m not your average cop, I’m a detective that breaks the mold.

I’m the detective that never sleeps, because crime never takes a break.