Zoolander Quotes

I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

I’m not a baby, I’m a man. I’m an anchorman!

What is this? A center for ants?!

I have a passion for fashion.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I’ve got the black lung, pop!

I’m not an ambi-turner. It’s a problem with the way I’m built.

I’m not a scientist, but I’m pretty sure not every animal has the same rights as a human.

I’m like a lightning bolt of mediocrity.

I’m really, really ridiculously good looking. It’s just not fair to everybody else.

I’m sorry that good looks didn’t get me out of a ticket.

It’s not easy being really, really ridiculously good looking.

I was reading my reflection in the mirror when I noticed… I’m really, really ridiculously good looking.

You can derelick my balls.

I’m a former male model. But I’m not a model, male or female. I’m Derrick Zoolander!

I’m undercover. I’m a hand model, remember?

I’m not an ambi-turner. It’s a problem with the way I’m built.

I think I’m getting the black lung, Pop.

Who am I? I don’t know, I’m a caterpillar . . . a wet spider.

I thought you were a hand model.

I felt like, ‘This guy’s really hurting me.’ And it hurt. But then he snapped my neck, is when it really started to hurt.

You think you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite… you aren’t.

I’m a hot little potato right now.

You can read minds?

What is this? A school for ants?

I’m not an ambiturner.

You want an opinion? Get an asshole.

I mean, like, science is a liar sometimes?

I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it!

But why male models?

Your mistake is thinking you’re not a part of the system, when you are the system.

The music is too loud? But my music has no volume.

There’s a 50% chance that I am already in your kitchen, eating your cake.

The new Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too is opening soon.

What’s that? Oh, it’s a beard for your teeth.

Where’d all the files go? You were watching them.

Actually I’m a Sagittarius. You know, fiery, creative, and made of forests and horses.

Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your ‘do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist’ theory?

I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.

I’m pretty sure there’s more to life than being really, really, really good looking.

A eugoogoolizer… one who speaks at funerals… or did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much!

But why male models?

You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a news flash for you Walter Cronkite… You aren’t.

God? Why’d you have to make her so damn tall?

There is more to life than being really, really, really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

I have a son? How can I be a father if I don’t have a son?!

Have you ever thought there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

I just wanted to thank you for the gift basket you gave me. The maple syrup and the chick peas. I made pancakes.