Zapp Brannigan Quotes

I find that the more attractive a woman is, the more likely she is to have a flock of admirers who want to kill me.

I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service.

Victory is mine! Victory is my middle name, in fact, it’s Felix.

Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

You remind me of a young me, except you’re not me, and I’m not young.

I’m the greatest captain in the universe, except for all those other captains who are better than me.

You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

I’m like a Führer, but with very low approval ratings.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General. I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? No? Okay, just checking.

Kif, I have made it with a machine woman. It’s different, but tonight’s going to be a more interesting evening.

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

Love’s not easy. That’s why I’ve built this love-nest out of gravity-proof titanium!

When I’m in charge, every mission is a suicide mission!

I’m a military man, and I refuse to negotiate with terrorists, or read the terms and conditions.

Kif, I’m feeling the captain’s itch.

Prepare the men for a prodigious operation. Operation ludicrous speed!

Kif, I have made it with a girl. Inform the men.

War were declared.

I don’t know much about the Internet, but I know what I like.

I’m known for being a great leader, and also for having a really cool spaceship.

This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!

We were once a mighty commando unit. Now we’re just a bunch of pansies.

That’s a big ship. Probably compensating for something.

They call me Commander Creepy McPervert when I’m dating.

They call me Captain Thunderpants when I’m not.

I drive my enemies before me and hear the lamentations of their women, but mostly, I just hear a lot of whining.

I’m like a ferret in heat, but with a better sense of style.

I’m like a turducken, but with more gravy.

I’m like a smooth jazz album, but with fewer sax solos.

I’m like a fine wine – intoxicating, with a hint of oak.

I’m like a majestic peacock, but with less feathers and more sexy.

I’m like a bald eagle, except I have fabulous hair.

I’m like a diamond in the rough – shiny, but rough around the edges.

I’m like a shark in a sea of minnows – confident and deadly.

I’m like a Pegasus, but without the wings, of course.

I’m like a shooting star – fleeting, but dazzlingly brilliant.

I’m like a supernova – explosive and beautiful.

I’m like a phoenix – rising from the ashes, stronger than ever.

I’m like a phoenix – except I’m not on fire, and I’m not a bird.

I’m like a rolling stone – always on the move, and never gathering moss.

I’m like a duck in water – calm and collected on the surface, but paddling like mad underneath.

I’m like a snake in the grass – always one step ahead, and ready to strike.

I’m like a lion in the jungle – king of the savannah, and always on the prowl.

I’m like a cheetah – fast, sleek, and deadly.

I’m like a tiger – fierce, majestic, and ready to pounce.

I’m like a panther – sleek, stealthy, and always on the hunt.

I’m like a jaguar – powerful, agile, and impossible to ignore.

I’m like a cougar – suave, sophisticated, and always chasing after younger women.