Top Inspirational Quotes from King of the Hill

Life is like a sewer, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

If I wanted to learn something, I wouldn’t have come to church.

Just because we’re not doesn’t mean our kids can’t be.

Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.

Allowance? Bobby, most kids your age are working in textile mills.

I’m not trying to overreact, but I’m starting to think you guys might be losers.

I sell propane and propane accessories, I tell you what.

Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn.

I knew it wasn’t crazy to fill our home with flammable gas.

I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. I went to the community college of hard knocks.

We didn’t fight a secret war in Nicaragua so you could walk around in a dress.

How would you like a kick in the face?

Boil up some Mountain Dew; it’s going to be a long night.

The only woman I’m pimping is sweet lady propane! And I’m tricking her out all over this town.

What are we to believe, that this is some sort of magic xylophone?

I could make a better dinner with my butt.

‘Bout all you can do now is plan the funeral.

I did not ask for your life story, I asked for your name.

That boy ain’t right.

I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.

I tell you what, the day they start making king of the hill illegal is the day I go live on a little island.

You’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making rock and roll worse.

In my opinion, traditions are what make a family a family.

Back in my day, beer was for the weak.

Bobby, Al Yankovic blew his brains out in the late ’80s when people finally stopped buying his records.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but never a quitter.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

What’s the big deal about going to the ‘right college’? What’s important is the degree!

I?m not great at advice. But can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!

There?s no problem so awful that you can?t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white?

I’m so darn mad I could kick a kitten through an electric fan!

I?m not actually a vegetarian, Hank. I’m a strict carnivore. I eat meat and only meat.

My hair does not look like a chia pet. Don?t be jealous!

Indoor grilling is not barbecue, it’s a glorified hibachi!

I sell propane and propane accessories, and you’d best respect that.

I’m your father, not your quote collector!

You can’t live life worrying about the what-if’s.

You’re talking about non-alcoholic beer, right?

I sell propane and propane accessories. – Hank Hill

God dang it, Bobby! – Hank Hill

?You know, in my day, they didn?t have these fancy, schmancy birth controls.? – Cotton Hill

?Boy, you don?t even know what hard work is until you?ve tried to run a deep fryer while answering some jerk?s question about propane.? – Hank Hill

?I don?t mind losing because it ain?t over till it?s over.? – Uncle Booda

If I wanted to learn something, I wouldn’t have joined the army. – Cotton Hill

?Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?? – Hank Hill

Bobby, if you give a Valentine to a sixth grade boy, girls are gonna think you’re sensitive. Something like that could follow you the rest of your life. – Hank Hill

?When you love something, you don’t look at the clock.? – Buck Strickland

Taste the meat… not the heat. – Hank Hill

?I already pay too much for cable, so I only listen to propositions that save me money.? – Hank Hill

You can’t just pick and choose which laws to follow. Sure, I’d like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of major league baseball, but that’s just not the way it works. – Hank Hill

The opera ain’t over till the fat lady sings. In America, opera lady can be as big as she wants. – Bill Dauterive

?Can’t you see, you’re not making Christianity better, you’re just making rock and roll worse.? – Hank Hill

When did society decide that children are so important? Why can’t they be seen and not heard? – Dale Gribble.

You know what they say Ford stands for, don’t ya? It stands for ‘Fix it again, Tony’. – Hank Hill

?I’m gonna kick your ass!? – Hank Hill

A clean shop is a safe shop. – Hank Hill

An order is an order until it’s not an order. – Colonel Gathers

?You see, a pimp’s love is very different from a square’s love.? – Pimp Bobby