Quotes

Senator John Kennedy’s Hilarious Quotes

I asked my office for a map of the world, and they gave me a snow globe.

They say politics is a game, but I’ve always been more of a checkers guy.

I once tried to fit all of my campaign promises on a bumper sticker. It didn’t go well.

Why do politicians always talk about ‘reaching across the aisle’? Can’t we just install a door?

Sometimes I think the secret to success in politics is simply being the tallest candidate.

I’ve been told I have a face for radio, but I’m not sure how to take that compliment.

I always say, if you want to make a lasting impression, wear funny socks.

They say laughter is the best medicine. Maybe that’s why Congress hasn’t passed any healthcare bills.

I don’t always understand politics, but I do know a good joke when I hear one.

They say you shouldn’t mix politics and humor, but then why are so many politicians funny?

I once tried stand-up comedy, but everyone thought I was just giving a campaign speech.

I’ve been accused of having a way with words, but sometimes I think they have a mind of their own.

Politics can be a circus, and let’s just say I’d make a great ringmaster.

They say Congress moves at a snail’s pace, but I think that’s an insult to snails.

I never thought I’d be a politician, but I guess being good at telling tall tales helps.

I don’t always agree with my fellow senators, but we do share a love of bad puns.

Politics is a strange game. I’ve seen more backstabbing than a Sunday morning pancake breakfast.

Sometimes I ask myself, ‘What would an average person do?’ And then I remember, I’m a senator.

I’ve learned that politics is all about compromise. And by compromise, I mean convincing people they’re wrong.

They say you should never bring a knife to a gunfight, but what about a funny joke?

I’ve been known to use humor to diffuse tense situations. It’s amazing what a good punchline can do.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but have they ever tried using a rubber chicken?

I’ve told so many jokes on the Senate floor, I should open a comedy club.

Politics can be a dirty business, but I always try to keep it clean. Except for the occasional pun.

They say politicians are good at talking in circles. I guess it’s all that spinning we do.

I’ve never been one to kiss babies on the campaign trail, but I’m always up for a good game of peek-a-boo.

They say behind every great man is a great woman. Well, I must be standing behind a really tall guy.

I once tried to explain the national debt using a puppet show. Suffice to say, it didn’t go well.

I may not be the most powerful senator, but I do have the best collection of funny ties.

They say politics is a contact sport, but I prefer to take a more comedic approach.

I’ve been accused of using humor as a defense mechanism. I prefer to call it ‘strategic wit’.

They say politicians never answer a question directly. I prefer to answer with a knock-knock joke.

I once tried to lighten the mood at a budget debate with improv comedy. Needless to say, it didn’t balance the books.

They say a good politician can convince anyone of anything. Well, try convincing a cat to take a bath.

I’ve been known to make a few gaffes here and there, but hey, at least I keep people entertained.

They say politics can be a dirty business, but I prefer to see it as a comedy routine.

I once tried to incorporate a magic trick into a campaign speech. Let’s just say the vanishing act didn’t go as planned.

They say politicians are good at bending the truth. I prefer to think of it as interpretive storytelling.

I’ve never been one for traditional speeches. I prefer to give presentations using interpretive dance.

They say politics is all about finding common ground. I just hope it’s not quicksand.

I once tried to solve a political stalemate with a game of rock, paper, scissors. It didn’t go over well.

They say a good politician can charm anyone. Well, I guess I’m more of a cheese ball than a charmer.

I’ve been known to liven up a dull debate with a well-timed kazoo solo.

They say politicians should have thick skin. I prefer to think of it as a well-padded funny bone.

I once tried to pass a bill using a puppet show. Let’s just say it didn’t get a standing ovation.

They say politics is all about negotiation. I prefer to think of it as a series of sarcastic comebacks.

I’ve been accused of having a one-liner for every situation. It’s true, but don’t ask me to explain quantum physics.

They say politicians are master manipulators. I prefer to think of it as ‘enthusiastic persuasion’.

I once tried to lighten the mood at a tense filibuster with a game of charades. Let’s just say my colleagues weren’t impressed.

They say politics is a serious business, but I prefer to think of it as a never-ending improv show.


  • Pinterest

    0


  • Linkedin

    0

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Our Latest Posts

Lil Tjay Quotes

I come from nothing, but I strive for everything. I use my pain as fuel to create greatness. Haters don’t define me, my success does.

Read More

H.L. Mencken Quotes

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. Every normal man must be

Read More

The Obstacle is the Way Quotes

Embrace the obstacle because it holds the key to your growth. The obstacle is not a roadblock, but a stepping stone to success. Every obstacle

Read More

Happy Place Quotes

Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life. Find your happy place and never let it go. In my happy place, the

Read More

Most popular posts

3507

Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.

Facebook 0 Pinterest 0 Twitter Linkedin 0

Read More

Ginny and Georgia Quotes

Life is short, eat the cake and drink the gin. Strong women don’t wait for someone to save them, they save themselves. Family is not

Read More

A Raisin in the Sun Quotes

Life can be tough, but it’s important to keep chasing your dreams, just like a raisin in the sun. Sometimes, the smallest things can have

Read More

Boxer Quotes Animal Farm

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. Freedom is worth fighting for, even if it means standing alone. Strength and

Read More