I’m kind of a big deal.
Stay classy, San Diego.
I believe in two things: love and great hair.
Put on some smooth jazz, and let the magic happen.
I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. In English, please.
I’m not a doctor, but I’ll take a look.
I’m a glass case of emotions.
I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.
I’m cool to the touch, but hot on the mic.
I’m not telling you to go, but I’m also not telling you to stay.
I don’t read the news, I make it.
I’m not lunging, I’m lunging forward.
I’m a news anchor, not a mathematician.
I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride.
I’m not a hugger, but I hug back.
I’m an anchorman. I’m supposed to say the news, not listen to it.
I’m a glass of scotch, neat.
I’m a Sunday afternoon, gentle and serene.
I’m not good at interviews, but I’m great at being Ron Burgundy.
I’m not a fan of bees; they make me wildly uncomfortable.
I’m an enigma wrapped in a burrito.
I’m not a man of many words, but the words I have are gold.
I’m sorry, did someone just say Scotchy Scotch Scotch?
I’m a gift from the news gods, wrapped in a stylish suit.
I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also ridiculously well-dressed.
I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.
I’m not sweating, I’m glowing.
I’m kind of a big deal on the airwaves.
I’m not afraid to admit it, I love lamp.
I’m not a role model, but I’m definitely a fashion icon.
I’m a glass of warm milk before bed.
I’m not here to blend in, I’m here to stand out.
I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I’ll fight for love.
I’m not a weatherman, but I can predict a high chance of awesome.
I’m not giving advice, I’m giving life lessons.
I’m a news anchor, but deep down I’m a jazz musician.
I’m not a fan of cats, but I love a good cat meme.
I’m a newsman by day, lover by night.
I’m not taking sides, but I’m always on the side of good taste.
I’m not one to brag, but I have a mustache that can stop traffic.
I’m not here to judge, I’m here to report the news.
I’m a scotch on the rocks, smooth and full-bodied.
I’m not just a pretty face, I also have a voice like honey.
I’m not a superhero, but I can save the evening news.
I’m a connoisseur of fine scotches and bold fashion choices.
I’m not just a news anchor, I’m a ray of sunshine in a dark world.
I’m not a fan of rollerblades, but I do enjoy a good jazzercise session.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I can play a mean jazz flute.
I’m not a believer in luck, I believe in hard work and perfectly coiffed hair.
I’m Ron Burgundy, and I’m here to make the news fun again.
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