Red Forman Quotes – A Tribute to the Iconic ‘That ’70s Show’ Character

Dumbass!

You’re a knucklehead!

I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!

You’re about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop.

If you were any dumber, I’d have to water you twice a week.

I hope you get hit by a truck carrying loser juice.

You’re about as bright as a black hole.

You’re so dense, you could be a star in the Milky Way.

You’re like a dunce cap that never comes off.

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

You couldn’t find your own ass with two hands and a map.

You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

You’re as sharp as a bowling ball.

You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

You’re like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

You’re a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.

You’re dumber than a box of rocks.

You’re a few cards short of a full deck.

If stupidity were a superpower, you’d be a superhero.

You’re so dumb, even the village idiot is jealous.

You have the IQ of a garden gnome.

You couldn’t spell ‘IQ’ if I gave you all three letters.

You’re as sharp as a bowling ball.

You’re so dense, light bends around you.

You’re like a broken pencil, completely pointless.

You’re a few volts short of a complete circuit.

You’re a few brain cells short of a thought.

You’re as useful as a chocolate teapot.

You’re dumber than a bag of hammers.

If stupidity were a currency, you’d be a billionaire.

You’re like a broken clock, right twice a day but still useless.

You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

You’re dumber than a brick wall.

You’re like a snail on a sloth’s back, going nowhere fast.

You’re about as bright as a burnt-out light bulb.

You couldn’t find your way out of a wet paper bag.

You’re so dense, it’s a wonder you don’t collapse into a black hole.

You’re a few marbles short of a full bag.

You’re about as sharp as a spoon.

You’re so dumb, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.

You’re like a broken record, repeating the same stupidity over and over.

You’re about as useful as a rubber crutch.

You have the intellectual capacity of a turnip.

You’re dumber than a sack of hair.

You’re like a squirrel on a hamster wheel, lots of energy but going nowhere.

You’re about as smart as a pet rock.

You couldn’t find your own reflection in a mirror.

You’re dumber than a bag of rocks.