I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a man while he lives.
I’m a huge fan of the unconscious. I think dreams are fascinating.
The comedians I liked were funny and smart and subversive, like George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Joan Rivers.
Comedy is filled with monsters like myself.
The heart wants what it wants, but it must also fear what it fears.
There is no shame in asking for help; the shame is in ignoring your own needs.
The key to happiness is not in getting what you want, but in wanting what you have.
Life is a series of unexpected plot twists; embrace the chaos.
Don’t be afraid to fail; embrace your mistakes and learn from them.
Laughter is the best medicine, but chocolate comes a close second.
Never underestimate the power of a well-timed swear word.
If life gives you lemons, make a margarita and have a party.
I can’t control what others think of me, but I can control how I react to it.
Embrace your weirdness; it’s what makes you unique.
The road to success is paved with hard work and a lot of caffeine.
Some people see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full. I just see a glass and think, ‘Who the hell put that there?’
The best revenge is living well and not giving a damn.
Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t appreciate you.
Every cloud has a silver lining, unless it’s a thunderstorm; then you’re just screwed.
Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.
It’s not about how hard you can hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Failure is not falling down; it’s refusing to get back up.
Life is like a rollercoaster; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, and sometimes you just want to throw up.
Happiness is not a destination; it’s a way of life.
Success is not measured by how much money you make, but by how much impact you have on others.
You can’t please everyone, so stop trying and start living for yourself.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
You can’t change the world overnight, but you can make a difference every day.
Life is too short to hold grudges; forgive, forget, and move on.
The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
There’s no such thing as a dumb question; only dumb answers.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
Success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success.
Life is too short to be anything but happy.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot.
In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
The difference between a successful person and others is not the lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
Believe you can and you’re halfway there.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It’s the courage to continue that counts.
Dream big and dare to fail.
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
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