Oscar Levant Quotes

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God, I wish I was!

I’m not a bigot, I’m a realist.

I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.

I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. And I don’t gamble. I’m a real stand-up guy.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.

There’s a fine line between assertiveness and aggression, and I like to dance all over it.

I’m not a pessimist, I’m an optimist with experience.

I believe in luck. The harder I work, the luckier I get.]

I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.

I’m too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

I’m not a snob, I just have refined taste.

I’m not much of a joiner. I don’t think I have the right blood type for it.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!

Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

I don’t even brush my teeth. I just grab the bar of soap and start chewing.

I have a rough time with things that blow my mind. I never watch the weather on television because it’s so over my head.

I don’t drink. I don’t like it. I don’t need it. I don’t want it. I don’t like the taste of alcohol, and I don’t like the space it puts me in.

I can’t take love too seriously; it puts too many time limits on my freedom.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Happiness isn’t something you experience; it’s something you remember.

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said, ‘I want a second opinion.’ He said, ‘Okay, you’re ugly too.’

The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.

There’s a fine line between insanity and genius. I have erased this line.

The first time you buy a house, you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men.

I don’t even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

I’m a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I don’t have a photograph. But you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

It’s not what you think. It’s what you feel.

I envy people who drink. At least they know what to blame everything on.

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not social.

I can’t die because I’m already dead. I’ve been dead for years.

I never wanted to be a star; I just wanted to get rid of my depression.

I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.

I never wanted to be a millionaire, I just wanted to live like one.

I can resist everything except temptation… and dessert.

I don’t drink coffee. I take tea, my dear.

I’m the wrong kind of person to be really big and famous.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by living forever.