Ogden Nash Quotes
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Some tortures are physical, and some are mental, but the one that is both is dental.
I’m allergic to my own laziness.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Middle age is when your old classmates are so bald and gray and wrinkled, they don’t recognize you, either.
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
An only child is a person who grew up alone, not lonesome.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
Some men pray for fortunes, others for friends. The truly lucky pray for both.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, and sometimes it’s even sicker.
The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
The truth I do not stretch or shove, when I state that the dog is full of love. I’ve also found, by actual test, a wet dog is the lovingest.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
The one-L lama, he’s a priest. The two-L llama, he’s a beast.
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, if I belittle dogs and mothers.
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
One cantaloupe is ripe and lush, another’s green, another mush. I’d buy a lot more cantaloupe if I possessed a fluoroscope.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Curse ruthless time! Curse our mortality. How cruelly short is the allotted span for all we must cram into it!
I do not like to go away, but, oh, I love to come back.
Style is the dress of thought; a modest dress, Neat, but not gaudy, will true critics please.
Gluttony and sloth, to say nothing of adultery, are confirmed Christians, but pride is still in the post.
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
The cow is of the bovine ilk, one end is moo, the other is milk.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
Some people have the stars, but not everyone can shine.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
If you want to be original, just be yourself.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock.
Some people prefer to spend their money on material things, but I prefer to spend mine on experiences and memories.
It’s always easier to do nothing than something.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, because that’s where you’ll find success.
I would rather be a fool with a heart full of love than a wise man with no love in his heart.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Life is a journey, not a destination.