Nick Miller Quotes

Who’s got two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap? This guy!

Pizza is my spirit animal.

Dance at weddings like no one is watching, because they’re not.

I’m not a successful kisser. My mouth often misses the mark.

I’m a connoisseur of cereal. It’s the only thing I’ll ever love.

I’m a complex man with simple needs. Is that such a crime?

Sometimes I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster, but without the fun of rollercoasters.

I’m a bird trapped in a man’s body, that’s why I can’t fly.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into a vodka soda and forget your troubles.

My best days are when I don’t have to put on pants.

I don’t have hobbies, I have phases.

I’m allergic to commitment, but I’m great at avoiding it.

I don’t need a haircut, I just need a hat that fits.

I may not be good at dating, but I’m great at eating.

I don’t believe in love, but I do believe in pizza.

I’m a man of few words and all of them are weird.

I’ve reached a level of laziness that can only be described as impressive.

I may have the body of a 30-year-old, but the soul of an 80-year-old retiree.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.

I went from aspiring writer to aspiring napper in record time.

I’m not clumsy, I just prefer to navigate the world with a bit of chaos.

I’m not afraid of failure, I’m just easily distracted by shiny things.

If being weird is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

I may not be good at adulting, but I excel at napping.

I’m not a morning person, I’m not even an afternoon person. I’m a night owl who hates mornings.

I’m not a neat freak, I just have a creative way of organizing my mess.

I’m not a great cook, but I can make a mean bowl of cereal.

I believe in naps like I believe in magic.

I’m not here to impress anyone, I’m here to eat all the cheese.

I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

I cherish my alone time like it’s the last slice of pizza.

I’m not a superhero, but I do have the power to make people laugh.

I’m not sweating, I’m just radiating coolness.

I’m a walking contradiction, but at least I’m entertaining.

I can’t dance, but I have some killer air guitar moves.

I may not be the life of the party, but I’m the life of my own party.

I’m not lost, I’m just taking a scenic route.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when I really need it.

I’m not a perfectionist, I just have high standards for my laziness.

I’m not clumsy, the universe just likes to test my balance.

I’m not normal, and I don’t aspire to be.

I’m not afraid of failure, I’m afraid of running out of coffee.

I may not have all the answers, but I have a great sense of humor.

I’m not a quitter, I’m just easily distracted by shiny new projects.

I may not be good at adulting, but I’m excellent at avoiding it.

I’m not a morning person, but I can rock a bedhead like no one else.

I don’t sweat the small stuff, mainly because I don’t do anything that would make me sweat.

I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just waiting for the right moment to shine.

I may not have it all figured out, but at least I know how to make people laugh.

I’m not overly complicated, I’m just uniquely me.