Mrs. Doubtfire Quotes

Help is on the way!

I do voices.

I’m a hip grandma who can hip hop, bebop, dance ’til you drop, and yo yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’m not going to outson-of-a-bitch you!

It was a run-by fruiting!

Oh God, could you help me find my sequin pantsuit? It’s an emergency!

In the words of my generation, up yours!

I may be an adult but I’m not dead.

We don’t have a lot of time on this planet! We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

He makes me laugh. I can’t help myself. Can you? Can you make me laugh?

I want you to know that someplace, somewhere, we’re going to be all right.

I’m glad you found this job opportunity, but it’s so much more than that. It’s a chance to be your own man.

Oh, I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t know you had an appointment with Mr. Hillard. This is so off-the-record it’s not even funny.

Let’s pretend that we’re at Mr. Hillard’s wedding reception. I’ll be Mrs. Hillard and you just act normal and try not to sound like yourself.

You know, some parents, when they’re angry, they get along much better when they don’t live together. They don’t fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don’t, dear. And if they don’t, don’t blame yourself. Just because they don’t love each other anymore doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie.

I’ll be quite frank with you, I consider you to be a truly outstanding housekeeper.

I should warn you, we’re going to do some things here that are dangerous. We’re going to light some candles, and we’re going to play with clay, and we’re going to eat a little cake!

Well, you know what they say: bag goes on your head, they’ve banged worse.

This is the kind of display that just tickles my b*lls!

So, you’re a flower in a man’s world huh?

You gotta be the most interesting woman I’ve ever met.

Do you like hot dogs? Oh, that’s so funny. My kids like hot dogs too. My husband likes hot dogs…

Our love is like a rose, flat on the ground with no sunlight, dead.

You know the bit where the feather just goes up and down? That was the best bit.

I’m not ordinary! I was stealing newspapers when I was your age.

Do good not just because of who you are, but because of who I am too.

You know, a lot of people say this is a thankless job. But I say, ‘Why should I believe them?’ I have all sorts of wonderful things I could be doing with my life.

You ever heard of the saying ‘If you love someone, set them free’? That’s exactly what I did. Liberated her.

It was the dog’s fault, sir. She told me to let her in when you were out.

Oh, sir, I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting.

This? This is my costume. I’m a zookeeper and I’m looking for my tribe.

Oh, I’m not insane. I’m dad.

Can you see that, Daddy? You’re already a star!

We just went shopping for some bagels and coffee.

People often wish their mum and dad would keep on loving each other even if they don’t seem to love each other anymore.

Miranda, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I messed up everything. I just hope one day you can understand why I did what I did.

You did it! I’m sorry, I just wanted something for me, just for once.

What does a doting father do when his daughter does this?

I don’t need marriage, I need a manicure.

Thank you, you gave me a second chance and I’m grateful, I love you, my children love you and they’re lucky to have you in their life.

Why can’t I have my own life? Why can’t I find someone else to take care of you?

Oh, sir, I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting.

This is not about winning an argument. It’s about what’s best for the kids.

I am not going to be ignored, Dan.

You sound like Lucifer.

Hey, how long do dinosaurs live? Dad.

I just want to spend time with my children, having dinner together, talking about nothing.

I can handle this.I work with kids.

First day as a woman… feeling a little bloated, not a good day to wear black.