Memorable Kindergarten Cop Quotes

It’s not a tumah!

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

I’m the party pooper.

It’s nap time, so shut up!

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

It’s not a lunch break until I say it’s a lunch break!

I’m the king of the playground.

The rules are simple: you listen to me, you live.

You don’t need a lawyer, you need a parent.

Stop whining, it’s time to learn.

I’m Detective John Kimble, your worst nightmare.

Don’t make me go all kindergarten cop on you.

I’m a policeman, I am here to protect you.

I have a badge, so I make the rules.

No running in the hallways, unless you’re being chased by a murderer.

You’ve got to help me find the bad guys, or no recess for you!

Is it true boys have cooties? Let’s investigate!

I’m not just a kindergarten teacher, I’m a crime-fighting hero.

Put the crayons down, and put your hands in the air!

Your finger painting skills are impressive, but we’re looking for fingerprints.

There’s no crying in spying.

Snack time is over, it’s time for interrogation.

If you’re a bad guy, you’ll have to sit in the timeout corner… forever.

Stop hitting each other, or I’ll have to fingerprint you all!

I may be teaching kindergarten, but I could easily be teaching self-defense.

Don’t bring scissors to a gunfight.

Kindergarten is not for the weak-hearted, it’s a battlefield.

My lesson plans include bulletproof vests.

Why play with blocks when you can build a case against the bad guys?

You’re not just learning the ABCs, you’re learning how to be a part of a police force.

If you can’t follow simple rules, you’ll never make it as a cop.

Keep your eyes open, you never know when a criminal might be hiding in the sandbox.

Don’t let the cute finger paintings fool you, these kids are trained to take down criminals.

Who needs a partner when you have a classroom full of kindergartners?

I’m not a teacher, I’m a superhero in disguise.

Remember, sharing is caring, except when it comes to information about crimes.

Never underestimate the power of a well-placed crayon.

I may be small, but my surveillance skills are top-notch.

I’ll take snack time over stakeouts any day.

The only show and tell I’m interested in is show me where the criminals are hiding.

No finger painting on crime scenes, please.

I’m not only here to teach, I’m here to protect.

Don’t forget your lunchbox, it might come in handy during a stakeout.

It’s not about chasing butterflies, it’s about chasing justice.

Kindergarten is like a training academy for future crimefighters.

If you can solve a puzzle, you can catch a criminal.

If you can’t tie your shoes, how can you catch bad guys?

Don’t let the sweet faces fool you, these kids are future secret agents.

I never thought I’d be teaching the next generation of cops, but here I am.

In this classroom, we don’t just learn, we protect.