Mean quotes

If stupidity was a currency, you’d be a billionaire.

You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Your face could make an onion cry.

I’d like to see things from your perspective, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You’re the reason that birth control exists.

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

I’d call you a tool, but even a tool serves a purpose.

If ignorance was bliss, you’d be the happiest person alive.

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.

If you were an ice cream flavor, you’d be prunes and vinegar.

You’re a gray cloud in a world of rainbows.

If dumb was a sport, you’d be an Olympic champion.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

You’re like a Monday morning – nobody likes you.

If being ugly was a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.

I don’t need a map to know which direction your idiocy is in.

You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

I’ve met cup noodles with more personality than you.

If stupidity were a superpower, you’d be invincible.

You’re the pop-up ad of people.

If you were a spice, you’d be flour.

You’re like a broken pencil, completely pointless.

You bring everyone a lot of joy – when you leave the room.

If there was an award for laziness, you’d send someone else to pick it up for you.

You’re the reason we can’t have nice things.

You make the Kardashians look like Nobel laureates.

You’re the human embodiment of a headache.

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

I’ve seen better decision-making from a coin flip.

You have all the charisma of a wet sock.

You’re like a broken record, endlessly repeating the same stupidity.

If you were any more clueless, you’d be a rock.

You’re a walking disaster waiting to happen.

You’re as sharp as a beach ball.

I’ve seen more intelligent life forms in a petri dish.

You’re living proof that some people shouldn’t reproduce.

You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Your name should be ‘I don’t get it’ because that’s what everyone says when they talk to you.

You’re like a GPS without a signal – constantly lost.

You’re on the wrong side of the evolutionary chart.

You’re like a broken mirror – every time you speak, it’s shattered logic.

You’re the reason I can’t have nice conversations.

You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

You’re like a puzzle with missing pieces – incomplete and frustrating.

You’re as useful as a waterproof teabag.

You bring everyone down to your level, and then you beat them with experience.

You have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

You’re the poster child for birth control.

If common sense were a superpower, you’d be a mere mortal.