Laughing Through Menopause – Funny Quotes to Lighten the Mood
Menopause: the hot flashes that make you feel like the human torch.
My mood swings during menopause could give the Hulk a run for his money.
Who needs a radiator when you have menopause hot flashes?
Forget counting sheep, during menopause I count the number of fans in my bedroom.
Menopause: the only time in a woman’s life when she can be both hot and cold at the same time.
Menopause is nature’s way of telling us it’s time to retire the little black dress.
What do you call a menopausal woman with a sense of humor? A hot flasher comedian.
During menopause, I’ve become a self-proclaimed expert in window shopping for air conditioners.
Who needs a sauna when you have menopause hot flashes?
They say laughter is the best medicine, but during menopause, I’ll take a bucket of ice water instead.
Menopause: the magic trick where you lose your waistline and gain a temper.
Why did the menopausal woman bring a portable fan to the grocery store? She wanted to keep her cool in the produce aisle.
Menopause: the time when you start treating your thermostat like a light switch.
Menopause is like a ride on a roller coaster, but instead of screaming, you sweat.
Menopause: when the phrase ‘hot flash sale’ takes on a whole new meaning.
Menopause is the only time in a woman’s life when the words ‘ice cream’ and ‘fan’ become inseparable.
If menopause had a mascot, it would be a woman fanning herself with a comically oversized fan.
Why did the menopausal woman bring a portable fan to the beach? She wanted to make sure her hot flashes didn’t melt her ice cream.
During menopause, I’ve become an expert at strategically positioning myself near open windows and air vents.
Menopause: the time when your thermostat gets more action than your spouse.
Menopause: the only time when you can microwave leftovers by holding them in your hand.
Who needs a gym membership when menopause provides a free daily workout courtesy of hot flashes?
Menopause: when the question ‘is it hot in here?’ becomes a rhetorical one.
During menopause, my internal thermostat is so out of whack, I could cook a Thanksgiving turkey with my bare hands.
Menopause: the time in a woman’s life when ice cubes and popsicles become necessities instead of treats.
Why did the menopausal woman become a firefighter? She believed in fighting fire with fire (aka hot flashes).
Menopause: the only time in a woman’s life when she can simultaneously have icicles in her hair and sweat dripping down her back.
During menopause, my husband has learned that ‘I’m hot’ can mean both temperature and attractiveness.
If menopause were a sport, we’d all have gold medals in the 100-meter hot flash dash.
Menopause: the time when you start carrying a mini fan in your purse everywhere you go.
Why did the menopausal woman become an ice sculptor? She wanted to make use of her natural talent for creating frozen masterpieces.
Menopause: the time when you can cook bacon by placing it on your forehead.
During menopause, I’ve discovered that the most effective way to cool down is to drink ice water while standing in front of an open freezer.
Who needs a tropical vacation when menopause can transport you to the Sahara Desert with just one hot flash?
Menopause: the time when the phrase ‘middle-aged spread’ takes on a whole new meaning.
Why did the menopausal woman eat a whole pint of ice cream? She needed something cold to tame her inner fire-breathing dragon.
Menopause: the only time in a woman’s life when she can spontaneously ignite without the help of a match.
During menopause, I’ve become an expert at dressing in layers like a professional onion.
Who needs a personal trainer when menopause provides a daily workout complete with aerobic sweating and weightlifting (hot flashes and mood swings)?
Menopause: the time when you start buying shares in the company that produces the strongest antiperspirant on the market.
Why did the menopausal woman become an outdoor enthusiast? She wanted to make sure she had plenty of opportunities to commune with nature during her hot flashes.
Menopause: the perfect time to invest in a freeze-dried food supply in case your hot flashes transform your home into a sauna.
During menopause, I’ve developed a sixth sense for finding the nearest cold drink within a 10-mile radius.
Who needs fireworks on the Fourth of July when menopause can provide a free light show courtesy of hot flashes?
Menopause: the time when the phrase ‘cool as a cucumber’ takes on a whole new level of appreciation.
Why did the menopausal woman start training for a marathon? She wanted to channel her excess energy from hot flashes into something productive (and sweaty).
Menopause: the time when you contemplate constructing a personal igloo in your backyard to escape the heat.
During menopause, I’ve become an honorary member of the polar bear club thanks to my daily swims in ice-cold baths.
Who needs a personal sauna when menopause can turn any room into a tropical paradise?
Menopause: the time when your bedside table becomes a shrine to fans, ice packs, and cold drinks.