Humorous Mark Twain Quotes to Brighten Your Day

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. – Mark Twain

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. – Mark Twain

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. – Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation. – Mark Twain

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. – Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. – Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. – Mark Twain

A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read. – Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. – Mark Twain

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. – Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. – Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. – Mark Twain

Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it. – Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. – Mark Twain

Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. – Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. – Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt—and children. – Mark Twain

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. – Mark Twain

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. – Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it’s that they know so many things that just aren’t so. – Mark Twain

The lack of money is the root of all evil. – Mark Twain

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. – Mark Twain

When in doubt, tell the truth. – Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled. – Mark Twain

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t. – Mark Twain

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. – Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy; when there is money in it. – Mark Twain

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. – Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. – Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. – Mark Twain

The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. – Mark Twain

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. – Mark Twain

In Paris, they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language. – Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. – Mark Twain

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself. – Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. – Mark Twain

Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry. – Mark Twain

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – Mark Twain

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Our Latest Posts

Humorous Mark Twain Quotes to Brighten Your Day

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain Common sense

Read More

Mommy Daughter Quotes – Celebrating the Bond between Mother and Daughter

Mothers and daughters are connected by more than just blood; they are connected by heartstrings. The love between a mother

Read More

Heartwarming Love Family Quotes to Cherish

In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that

Read More

New Mother Quotes – Celebrating the Joy and Challenges of Motherhood

Becoming a new mother is like discovering a whole new universe of love. Having a baby takes your breath away,

Read More

Most popular posts

Peace Quotes Images

Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of harmony. Peace is the beauty of life. It is

Read More

Positive Affirmations, Rule and Inspiring Quotes #1459

Read More

Inspirational Quotes about Friends who are like Family

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. A true friend is a precious and rare gem in your family

Read More

Wolf Quotes

A wolf does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. The strength of the pack is the wolf, and

Read More