Humorous and Witty Quotes About Exes
My ex is like a recurring nightmare, unwelcome and scary.
My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be.
You can break up with me, but you can?t break up with the memories.
My ex had one very annoying habit – breathing.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m so happy that I dumped you.
I miss my ex – but my aim is getting better!
My ex is a great housekeeper, after each break-up, they kept the house.
Dear ex, I won’t block you or delete you, I’m keeping you there so you can see how happy I am without you.
My ex-girlfriend?s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day. I guess you know who you are.
Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.
Dear ex, I told you I’ll be there for you. When we broke up, the parenthesis was brought in, ‘(Only if you choke).’
My ?ex? was just another ?why? I need to add in my dictionary of life.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. I guess my ex proved it right.
I?m not really a fan of ‘exes are like speed bumps’; I prefer ‘exes are like roadkill.’
You’re my favorite ex for a reason!
I?d have an easier time remembering my ex?s birthday if it were on a more important day ? like tomorrow.
I used to miss you so much, but I never felt this way once I saw how much happier I could be without you.
Dear Ex, I won’t block you, or delete you. I’m keeping you there, so you can see how happy I am without you.
I don?t make mistakes I date them.
Ex: You’ll never find someone like me. You: That?s the point.
Taking your ex back is like going to a garage sale and buying back your own crap!
I still miss my ex ? but guess what? My aim is getting better.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
Feeling down? Saddle up. We are going on a guilt trip.
My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.
Thanks for the EXperience, but I am EXiting to better things.
An ?ex? is called an ?ex? because it?s an EXample of what you shouldn?t have again in the future.
After a breakup, we should call our exes just to check if they?ve already realized their monumental mistake.
Ma, I missed my ex. But my aim is gradually improving.
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Your ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like? kidnappers asking to keep in touch after they let you go.
Dear Ex, I won?t mute your voice, I want you to hear my laughter.
All I’m saying is I’ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room.
I don’t have ex’s, I have Y’s. Like ‘Y the hell did I date you?’
When your past calls, don?t answer. It has nothing new to say.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Dear ex, I won’t block you or delete you. I’m keeping you there so you can see how happy I am without you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd one’s for you.
Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.
Ever looked at your ex and wondered ‘Was I drunk the entire relationship?
I don?t have ex?s, I have Y?s. Like ‘Y the hell did I do that?’
I?m not really a witch. But if I were, my ex would be a toad.
That moment when you see your ex and they act like you two never happened, and you’re like WHOA! We didn’t? My bad. Thought we did.
My ex? We’re not friends, we’re not enemies. We’re just strangers with some memories.
An EX should stay an EX. They’re an example of false love and an explanation for why you deserve better.
My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a raging b*tch all the time.
Always remember an ex is an ex for a reason.