I don’t jog. I run away from things.
My biceps have biceps.
My workout playlist is just me screaming motivational quotes.
I flexed so hard that my reflection blinked.
I don’t lift weights, I lift souls.
My muscles are so strong, I can open a pickle jar with my mind.
I don’t need a gym. I just close my eyes and the weights come to me.
I have a six-pack. It’s just hiding under layers of awesomeness.
I invented a new exercise: jumping to conclusions.
They say no pain, no gain. I say no pizza, no gain.
I do cardio by outrunning my problems.
I don’t sweat, I sparkle.
I don’t need a gym membership. Laughter is my core workout.
I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them.
I can leap tall buildings in a single protein shake.
I don’t do sit-ups. I do stand-ups.
My workout routine includes mentally bench pressing my haters.
I have a personal trainer named Determination.
I don’t drink protein shakes. I eat them whole.
They say tough times don’t last. Neither does a good workout.
I don’t curl dumbbells. I curl compliments.
I don’t do crunches. I do potato chips.
I’m a beast at the gym. A beauty outside of it.
I have a love-hate relationship with squats. I love to hate them.
I don’t need a gym partner. I have my reflection to spot me.
I don’t do yoga. I do warrior training.
I have muscles in places most people don’t even have places.
I don’t believe in limits. Except for the number of protein shakes I can drink in a day.
I don’t do squats. I stand up against gravity.
I do push-ups. But I also push boundaries.
I don’t need an alarm clock. My muscles wake me up by flexing.
I don’t do leg day. I do world domination day.
I don’t fear the burn. The burn fears me.
My six-pack has loyalty rewards.
I can do a thousand push-ups. In my dreams.
I’m not here to impress anyone. Except myself. And maybe The Rock.
I don’t do cardio. My life is already a marathon.
I stretch so hard, I can touch the sky. Or at least my toes.
I don’t need caffeine. I wake up with the energy of a thousand burpees.
I don’t do bench presses. I press people’s buttons.
I don’t do ab workouts. My abs do me workouts.
I don’t dread Mondays. I dread not being able to go to the gym.
I don’t squat for a big butt. I squat for a strong mind.
I don’t need fresh air. My breath exhales motivation.
I’m not just a gym-goer. I’m a weightlifting philosopher.
I don’t count reps. I make reps count.
I don’t do lunges. I take giant leaps of faith.
I don’t just lift weights, I lift moods.
I don’t skip leg day. I skip leg months.
I don’t need to prove anything. Except for the fact that I can do one-handed push-ups.
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