Hilarious Quotes from Herschel Walker

I don’t jog. I run away from things.

My biceps have biceps.

My workout playlist is just me screaming motivational quotes.

I flexed so hard that my reflection blinked.

I don’t lift weights, I lift souls.

My muscles are so strong, I can open a pickle jar with my mind.

I don’t need a gym. I just close my eyes and the weights come to me.

I have a six-pack. It’s just hiding under layers of awesomeness.

I invented a new exercise: jumping to conclusions.

They say no pain, no gain. I say no pizza, no gain.

I do cardio by outrunning my problems.

I don’t sweat, I sparkle.

I don’t need a gym membership. Laughter is my core workout.

I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them.

I can leap tall buildings in a single protein shake.

I don’t do sit-ups. I do stand-ups.

My workout routine includes mentally bench pressing my haters.

I have a personal trainer named Determination.

I don’t drink protein shakes. I eat them whole.

They say tough times don’t last. Neither does a good workout.

I don’t curl dumbbells. I curl compliments.

I don’t do crunches. I do potato chips.

I’m a beast at the gym. A beauty outside of it.

I have a love-hate relationship with squats. I love to hate them.

I don’t need a gym partner. I have my reflection to spot me.

I don’t do yoga. I do warrior training.

I have muscles in places most people don’t even have places.

I don’t believe in limits. Except for the number of protein shakes I can drink in a day.

I don’t do squats. I stand up against gravity.

I do push-ups. But I also push boundaries.

I don’t need an alarm clock. My muscles wake me up by flexing.

I don’t do leg day. I do world domination day.

I don’t fear the burn. The burn fears me.

My six-pack has loyalty rewards.

I can do a thousand push-ups. In my dreams.

I’m not here to impress anyone. Except myself. And maybe The Rock.

I don’t do cardio. My life is already a marathon.

I stretch so hard, I can touch the sky. Or at least my toes.

I don’t need caffeine. I wake up with the energy of a thousand burpees.

I don’t do bench presses. I press people’s buttons.

I don’t do ab workouts. My abs do me workouts.

I don’t dread Mondays. I dread not being able to go to the gym.

I don’t squat for a big butt. I squat for a strong mind.

I don’t need fresh air. My breath exhales motivation.

I’m not just a gym-goer. I’m a weightlifting philosopher.

I don’t count reps. I make reps count.

I don’t do lunges. I take giant leaps of faith.

I don’t just lift weights, I lift moods.

I don’t skip leg day. I skip leg months.

I don’t need to prove anything. Except for the fact that I can do one-handed push-ups.