Futurama Quotes
Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Good news, everyone!
I’m not a robot like you. I don’t like having disks crammed into me… unless they’re Oreos… and then only in the mouth.
I am the man with no name… Zapp Brannigan at your service!
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
Bender is great! Bender is great! Bender is great!
Humans are about as trustworthy as a robot with three different file names.
If it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it. If it is broke, then sure, fix it.
I’m a thing… I run… I’m fast!
Well, I don’t have anything else planned for today, let’s get drunk!
I would never go near your grotesque naked form without beer goggles.
You know, I was God once.
I was thinking Benderbrau if it’s an ale, Botweiser if it’s a lager.
I’m 40% dolomite!
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Spare me your space age technobabble, Atilla the Hun!
Of all the friends I’ve had, you’re the first.
I don’t want to be immortal if it means living without you.
I’m a fraud, a poor, lazy, sexy fraud.
All I want is to rub humanity’s face in its own cesspool of weakness and sin.
It’s like a party in my mouth and everyone’s throwing up.
Everybody’s a jerk. You, me, this jerk.
You’re a smelly old loser, Grandpa!
These costumes aren’t cheap. They’re rented.
I’m not a hero. I’m a high-ranking military officer.
I’m worried what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety.
Relax, I just want to talk. Tell me, are you a man or a woman?
You always say ‘what if’. Well, what if you finished your story?
When you were all like beep-beep-boop, I knew that it was love.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
We’re whalers on the moon, we carry a harpoon. But there ain’t no whales, so we tell tall tales and sing our whaling tune.
Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.
I’m not a god. I’m just a regular robot, on a regular walk, in a regular parallel universe.
You gotta do what you gotta do and I gotta do what I gotta do, so whatever you gotta do, feel free to do it.
Through the hole in my wall, I watch every last scintilla.
To shreds, you say? And his wife? To shreds, you say?
Why’d you have to go and get me all breathing heavy?
In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up!
Yeah. Good luck with that.
When you’re in my crew, you live by my rules, you get to join in on the crew outings, and occasionally, I let you share my dessert.
Don’t worry, Fry. I too once spent an entire lifetime searching for the meaning of human existence. Have a cookie.
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
I’m going to build my own theme park, with blackjack, and hookers. In fact, forget the park!
The laws of science be a harsh mistress.
Quiet, you’ll miss the flavor!
Much to learn you still have, my old Padawan.
Whatever’s less than zero, that’s you.