Funny Star Wars Quotes
The Force is strong with my credit card bill after all these Star Wars collectibles.
I used to be a Jedi like you, but then I took a lightsaber to the knee.
If Yoda had a dating profile, his bio would just say ‘Size matters not.’
I asked Darth Vader if he had any kids and he said, ‘No, but I’m a great father figure.’
Even the Empire has to take lunch breaks. Stormtroopers need their space food.
Do you think R2-D2 ever gets mistaken for a fancy trash can?
They say money can’t buy happiness, but have they seen the Millennium Falcon?
I tried to join the Jedi Order, but they said I had too much midichlorians in my blood.
Who needs the dark side when you can have a dark chocolate Milky Way?
I’m not saying I’m a Jedi, but I do have a lot of lightsabers in my closet.
When it comes to Jedi training, I’ve mastered the art of using the Force to open pickle jars.
Why did the Wookiee bring a ladder to the concert? Because it wanted to get a Chewbacca view!
The Death Star may have been a superweapon, but I bet it couldn’t even make a good cup of coffee.
I asked Han Solo for a ride in the Millennium Falcon, but he said I wasn’t Solo material.
I tried to join the Rebel Alliance, but they said I was too much of a party animal.
I’m not saying Yoda is old, but I heard his lightsaber doubles as a cane.
Why did the Ewok bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be a little Wicket.
Do you think Darth Vader ever uses the Force to change the radio station in his TIE Fighter?
I asked Obi-Wan Kenobi for advice on my love life, and he said, ‘Use the Force, Luke… to swipe right.’
I’m not saying Yoda is green, but I heard he applied for a job as a Kermit the Frog impersonator.
If the Death Star had a Yelp review, I bet it would have one star.
Why did Luke Skywalker cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
I tried to make a lightsaber out of a glow stick, but all I got was a glowing wrist.
Why did the Sith order takeout? Because they wanted to taste the dark side of the menu.
Do you think Lando Calrissian’s closet is filled with capes of every color in the galaxy?
I wanted to join the Rebellion, but they said I had too many bad puns. I guess my humor was too Dark Side.
If Anakin Skywalker had a grill, it would be called the Darth BBQ-der.
I’m not saying Yoda is short, but I heard he once auditioned to be a garden gnome.
Why did the Wookiee bring a portable fan to the beach? Because it wanted a good Chew-breeze-a view.
If Star Wars was a musical, I bet the title would be ‘Anakin and the Technicolor Death Starcoat.’
I asked Luke Skywalker what he does for a living, and he said, ‘I’m a Jedi-ologist.’
Do you think Chewbacca is secretly just a really hairy Ewok in a Wookiee costume?
Why did Count Dooku go to the therapist? Because he needed help letting go of the Dark Side.
I’m not saying Yoda is old, but I heard he was one of the original witnesses to the Big Bang.
Why did Princess Leia try out for the talent show? Because she wanted to be the Solo act.
Do you think Obi-Wan Kenobi secretly teaches a Jedi cardio class in his spare time?
I tried to open a cantina, but the health inspector said my Wookiee roast was too Chewy.
If Star Wars characters had their own sitcom, I bet it would be called ‘The Skywalkers Next Door.’
I asked Darth Vader if he knew any good lawyer jokes, and he said, ‘They’re on the dark side of humor.’
Do you think Yoda ever uses the Force to find his misplaced car keys?
Why did the Wookiee keep a hair dryer in his spaceship? Because he didn’t want his fur to turn into Wookiee-curls.
I asked Han Solo if he ever wanted to settle down, and he said, ‘I’m more of a Solo artist.’
Do you think R2-D2 secretly has a full set of washboard abs under all his metal plating?
Why did the Sith get kicked out of the movie theater? Because he kept using the Dark Side to skip the previews.
I tried to join the Jedi council, but they said I lacked a certain Obi-Wan Kenobi-tude.
Do you think Poe Dameron sends BB-8 text messages full of emojis and droid-speak?
Why did Luke Skywalker get kicked out of the comic book store? Because he always tried to use the Jedi Mind Trick for a discount.
I’m not saying Yoda is old, but I heard he remembers when Obi-Wan Kenobi had a mohawk.
Do you think C-3PO secretly practices stand-up comedy to improve his protocol skills?
Why did Chewbacca always win at video games? Because he had the best Wookiee-cords.