Funny Smoking Quotes

I smoke in moderation. Only one cigarette at a time.

The only smoke I need is from my barbecue.

Smoking may be killer, but I look damn cool doing it.

I only smoke when no one is looking. It’s my mysterious side.

Smoking is my guilty pleasure, like eating chocolate cake for breakfast.

Life is short. Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

I don’t always smoke, but when I do, it’s for comedic effect.

Smoking is my way of adding a little drama to everyday life.

I smoke to remind myself that sometimes it’s okay to be a little bad.

Smoking is my form of rebellion in a world that wants to conform.

I may not have all the answers, but I sure know how to blow smoke rings.

If smoking is a sin, then I’ll happily burn in hell.

I smoke to keep my lungs on their toes.

Smoking is my way of reminding the world that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.

I smoke because it’s the only vice I haven’t mastered yet.

I don’t need therapy, I just need a smoke break.

Smoking is like a secret handshake for those in the know.

I’ve been smoking for so long, I’ve developed my own dance routine to juggle cigarettes.

I may not be a doctor, but I play one in my smoke-filled fantasies.

Smoking is my way of giving a big ‘screw you’ to those preachy anti-smoking ads.

If smoking is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Pass the lighter, please.

I’ve always wanted to be a magician, so I make cigarettes disappear into thin air.

Smoking is my way of challenging societal norms and looking damn good doing it.

I smoke because it’s the only way I know how to express my rebellious side.

I may not be the best role model, but at least I can blow smoke rings.

Smoking is like my own personal smoke signal to the universe.

I smoke because life is just too short to worry about the risks.

I don’t need a reason to smoke, other than the fact that I enjoy it.

I smoke because it adds a little extra spice to my otherwise mundane existence.

I may not be famous, but I have my own signature smoke cloud.

Smoking is my way of telling the world that I don’t give a damn.

I don’t smoke to fit in, I smoke to stand out.

If smoking is a crime, then I’m guilty as charged.

I smoke to keep the fire in my soul burning bright.

Smoking is my way of thumbing my nose at the health nuts of the world.

I’ve tried quitting smoking a hundred times, but it’s just too damn fun.

I don’t need an ashtray, I have the whole world to exhale into.

Smoking is like my own personal time machine, taking me back to a simpler era.

I smoke to remind myself that life is a series of choices, and sometimes you just have to light one up.

I don’t need meditation, I have cigarettes to help me find my inner peace.

Smoking is my way of giving a big ‘fuck you’ to the Grim Reaper.

I smoke because it’s the closest thing I have to a superpower.

I don’t smoke to look cool, I smoke to feel cool.

Smoking is my way of embracing the chaos and unpredictability of life.

I may not have all the answers, but at least I have a lighter.

I smoke to channel my inner James Dean. Rebel without a cause, baby.

Smoking is my way of lighting up the darkness and finding my path in life.

I don’t smoke to fit in, I smoke to stand out.

If smoking is a crime, then I’m guilty of being fabulous.

I smoke because it keeps the mosquitoes away. The smoke screen is real.