Funny Quotes from TV Shows

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – The Office

Eat my shorts! – The Simpsons

I’ll be there for you, except on Wednesdays because that’s when I watch my shows. – Friends

I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is… it’s a TV show marathon and a tub of ice cream. – Forrest Gump

You can’t handle the truth! Or the remote. – A Few Good Men

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future episodes of my favorite TV show.

I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours… specifically the reality on my favorite TV show.

I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order… as they should be. – Scrubs

In this reality show we call life, I’m just a background character.

If I had a dollar for every time a character on my favorite TV show made a bad decision, I’d be a millionaire.

I’m not addicted to TV shows. I just have a passionate commitment to their storylines.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just auditioning for a slapstick comedy.

I may be pixels on a screen, but I still have feelings, especially for my favorite TV show characters.

I could give up binge-watching TV shows, but I’m not a quitter… except for that one time in middle school.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to my favorite TV show.

I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took a whole season of a TV show to the knee. – Skyrim

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just waiting for the right moment to start watching my favorite TV show.

I’m not ignoring you, I’m just invested in the fictional lives of TV show characters.

I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition DVD box set in a world of streaming services.

I don’t always watch TV shows, but when I do, I prefer to watch them all in one sitting. – The Most Interesting Man in the World meme

Life may be a highway, but TV shows are the scenic route.

I’m not binge-watching TV shows, I’m conducting important research on character development.

Reality TV is like a bag of potato chips… enjoyable in small doses, but you’ll regret it after consuming too much.

If watching TV shows is a crime, lock me up and throw away the remote.

I’m not afraid of commitment, but I am afraid of getting emotionally invested in TV show characters.

I’m not a TV addict, I’m just dedicated to quality cinematic storytelling.

I’m not short, I’m just the perfect height for marathon TV show sessions without neck strain.

Hakuna Matata is my life motto… except when it’s time for a new season of my favorite TV show. – The Lion King

I don’t need reality TV drama. My life is dramatic enough with my favorite TV shows.

I’m not a couch potato, I’m a couch connoisseur of television excellence.

I’m not interested in small talk. Let’s discuss the latest plot twist on my favorite TV show.

I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in binge-watching TV shows at first episode.

I’m not antisocial, I’m just catching up on my must-see TV.

I’m not a fan of endings, unless they’re the end of a commercial break during my favorite TV show.

I don’t need therapy. I just need a new season of my favorite TV show.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy access to a lot of streaming platforms and TV shows, which is pretty close.

I’m not lazy, I’m horizontally motivated to watch TV shows.

I’m not picky, I just have high standards when it comes to TV show selection.

I may not have it all together, but at least I have a well-curated list of TV shows.

I’m not sure if I’m a good person, but I do watch a lot of TV shows about good people.

I’m not a morning person, but I will wake up early for new episodes of my favorite TV show.

I’m not easily impressed, but that plot twist in my favorite TV show got me.

I’m not glued to my TV, I’m just magnetically attracted to good storytelling.

I may not be a wizard, but I can binge-watch a TV show like a muggle.

I may not have a superpower, but I have the ability to watch entire TV show seasons in one day.

I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m just afraid of finishing all the seasons of my favorite TV show.

I’m not addicted to TV shows, I’m just an enthusiast of episodic storytelling.

I may not have a life, but I have an extensive knowledge of TV show trivia.

I don’t always have a plan for the day, but I always have a plan for my TV show marathon.

I’m not a couch potato, I’m a TV show enthusiast who happens to enjoy sitting on a couch.