Funny quotes for husband

Marriage is like a game of cards, you start with two hearts and end up wanting to kill each other.

Dear husband, I love you even when you snore like a chainsaw.

Marriage is all about finding someone to share your snacks with.

Love is blind, that’s why I married you.

Husband: a title given to a man who is willing to listen to the same story over and over again.

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.

Husbands are like fine wine. They take a lot of time to mature, and sometimes they just give you a headache.

Being married means I can annoy you for the rest of your life.

Husband: The provider of hugs, the master of funny faces, and the one who always kills spiders for me.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Marriage is a workshop where husband and wife work together to solve the mysteries of the washing machine.

A good husband is like a warm cup of coffee – he keeps you awake and makes mornings better.

Husband: the only person who can make you laugh, cry, and pull your hair out all in the span of ten minutes.

Dear husband, I promise to love and cherish you even when you’re old and gray and still playing video games.

My husband says I have two mood settings: hungry and hangry.

Marriage is sharing your popcorn even when you don’t want to share your feelings.

I love you more than Mondays, and that’s saying something.

Love doesn’t mean you have to share your dessert. Just saying.

Marriage: the only war where you sleep with the enemy.

My husband is my favorite person to annoy, and it’s a job I take very seriously.

Love is finding someone who will finish your sentences… but will also finish your fries.

Husbands are like duct tape – they fix everything, but they can be a little sticky.

Marriage is like a dance, where one partner always steps on the other’s toes.

I asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday. He said, ‘A nap.’ Clearly, we’re soulmates.

Marriage is a rollercoaster ride, and I’m the one who always forgets to buckle up.

Love is staying up all night watching your favorite TV show, even if it’s your husband’s worst nightmare.

Husband: the only person who can make a three-course meal out of leftovers.

Marriage is all fun and games until someone eats the last cookie.

I love you more than chocolate, and that’s a pretty big deal.

Husbands are like wifi – they may not always be strong, but they connect you to the world.

Being married means having a permanent partner in crime.

I love you more than words can say, but I’ll still make fun of your fashion choices.

Marriage is sharing your dreams, your hopes, and your ice cream.

Dear husband, thank you for always pretending to laugh at my jokes.

Husbands are like cars – they need constant attention and occasional upgrades.

Marriage is trading your freedom for someone else’s dirty laundry.

My husband is the reason I need therapy… and also the reason I can’t afford therapy.

I love you more than all the stars in the sky, but you still can’t find your socks.

Husbands are like toddlers – you have to watch them all the time, or they’ll get into trouble.

Marriage is a journey, and my husband is the GPS that always takes us on the scenic route.

Dear husband, thank you for always being my partner in crime… and for always taking the blame.

I love you more than the smell of bacon in the morning, and that’s saying something.

Husbands are like pillows – they provide comfort, but sometimes you just want to smother them.

Marriage is when your husband becomes your partner in crime, your personal comedian, and your biggest fan.

Dear husband, I love you more than my morning coffee, and that’s a real statement.

Husbands are like tornadoes – they sweep you off your feet and leave a mess behind.

Marriage is like a reality show – there’s drama, there’s laughter, and sometimes you just want to change the channel.

Dear husband, thank you for being my personal IT guy, my favorite food critic, and my partner in endless adventures.

I love you more than emojis, and that’s a lot of love.

Husbands are like garden gnomes – they’re cute, but don’t ask them to do any real work.