Funny Quotes About Women

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I’m not needy. I just need a lot of attention.

Shopping: Because it’s cheaper than therapy.

I was an innocent being once… then my best friend came along.

I don’t need a prince charming to have my own happily ever after.

Who run the world? Girls who can multitask and still look fabulous.

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – she changes it more often.

I’m not a drama queen, I’m just surrounded by idiots.

Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way.

My housekeeping style is best described as ‘There appears to have been a struggle.’

I don’t need an excuse to dress up. I do it for myself, not anyone else.

I’m not a nag. I’m a motivational speaker.

I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.

I like my coffee how I like my women: strong, bold, and hot.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

I believe in retail therapy.

I could stop shopping, but I’m not a quitter.

Chocolate understands when I need space.

I’m not high maintenance, I’m just low tolerance for BS.

I don’t need a man to fix my problems. I have Google for that.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch: Lunch.

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I can’t find my keys.

I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast.

I suffer from extreme cuteness. It’s a burden.

I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m asleep.

I collect smiles and little moments, not things.

I’m not a control freak; I just like things done my way.

I’m not a morning person, or an afternoon person. I’m a coffee person.

I don’t need a prince. Charming is overrated.

I don’t need a superhero. I save myself.

The best revenge is living well and laughing hysterically.

I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs attack me, and the wall gets in my way.

Cinderella didn’t ask for a prince, she asked for a night off and a dress.

Sugar, spice, and everything nice? No thanks, I prefer sarcasm, wit, and a fierce attitude.

I can resist anything except temptation. And shoes. Definitely shoes.

I’m not a snack; I’m the whole bakery.

I’m not a troublemaker, I’m just very misunderstood.

I’m a woman with big goals and an even bigger shoe collection.

Nobody’s perfect, but my cat’s pretty close.

My hairstyle is called ‘I tried’ and then ‘I gave up.’

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

I’m not shy; I’m just quietly evaluating my next sarcastic comment.

I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen us in the same room together.

I’m allergic to negativity, drama, and early mornings.

I may be a woman, but I can change a tire, open a jar, and figure out complicated math problems. Just saying.

In a world full of princesses, be a superheroine.

I don’t want your heart, I just want your Netflix login.

I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel who enjoys the occasional distress for the story.