Funny quotes about exes

A good ex is like a book you can’t put down because you already know the ending.

I always say, keep your exes in your rearview mirror, where they belong.

The best revenge on an ex is living well and laughing often.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because your ex is someone else’s problem now.

An ex is like a phone call from the past – you can either answer and regret it or ignore it and move on.

The only thing worse than an ex is a double-booking ex.

If life gives you lemons, make vodka lemonade and toast to your ex’s stupidity.

The quickest way to get over an ex is to run far away from their memory.

An ex is like a bad dream – you wake up grateful it’s over.

Dating an ex is like trying to recycle trash – it always smells bad.

The best thing about an ex is realizing you deserve better.

Sometimes, breaking up with an ex is like breaking a mirror – you’ll have seven years of good luck afterward.

An ex is like a mosquito bite – annoying at first, but eventually forgotten.

Breaking up with an ex is like trimming a tree – it allows room for new growth.

An ex is like a light bulb that burned out – replace it with someone who shines brighter.

If your ex can’t handle your personality, they clearly had bad taste.

An ex is like an old shoe – it’s worn out and stinky, time for an upgrade!

An ex is like a bad tattoo – a constant reminder of a questionable decision.

The best advice for dealing with an ex is to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

An ex is like a bad sitcom – you cringe at the memories but can’t help but laugh.

An ex is like leftovers – you don’t want it anymore, but it’s still edible.

Breaking up with an ex is like deleting a number from your phone – it’s a small act, but so liberating.

An ex is like a red light – you have to stop, but eventually, you’ll be on your way again.

An ex is like a rock in your shoe – irritating and best removed ASAP.

Breaking up with an ex is like taking off a pair of tight shoes – you feel relieved and free.

An ex is like an outdated fashion trend – it’s best to move on and embrace something new.

If you’re ever feeling down about your ex, just remember that they’re out there somewhere, probably making someone else miserable.

An ex is like a ghost from the past – haunting, but ultimately powerless.

Getting back together with an ex is like putting whipped cream on moldy bread – it might look good, but it’s still spoiled.

An ex is like a forgotten playlist – once loved, now deleted.

Breaking up with an ex is like closing a chapter of your life – it’s time for a new story.

An ex is like a canceled subscription – you don’t miss it once it’s gone.

If your ex comes crawling back, just remember they’re like a boomerang – they always come back, but you can choose not to catch them.

An ex is like a bad haircut – it’s a regrettable decision that takes time to grow out.

Breaking up with an ex is like removing a splinter – painful but necessary for healing.

An ex is like an old pair of jeans – comfortable and familiar, but eventually, you outgrow them.

If you need a reminder of how great your life is now without your ex, just imagine them stuck in rush hour traffic while you relax at the beach.

An ex is like an expired coupon – useless, outdated, and best discarded.

Breaking up with an ex is like closing a browser tab – it’s time to move on to something more exciting.

An ex is like a bad tattoo – a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.

If your ex tries to come back into your life, just remember they’re like expired milk – curdled.

An ex is like a fingerprint – unique, but you don’t want it all over you.

Breaking up with an ex is like deleting old pictures from your phone – a fresh start.

An ex is like a bad movie – entertaining at first, then you realize it just wasted your time.

If your ex tries to win you back, just remember they’re like a used car salesman – full of empty promises.

An ex is like an old computer – outdated technology that you’re glad you replaced.

Breaking up with an ex is like putting away old childhood toys – sentimental, but it’s time to move on.

An ex is like a rerun – you know what’s going to happen, but you watch anyway and cringe.

If your ex wants to be friends, just remember they’re like a clown – entertaining for a short while, but ultimately creepy.

An ex is like a math problem – it’s best to solve it once and for all, instead of continuing to struggle with it.