Funny Lord of the Rings Quotes that Will Make You Laugh

I feel like Frodo when I accidentally leave my phone at home.

Gollum would make a great real estate agent, always looking for that precious property.

Gandalf’s beard is longer than my to-do list!

I bet Sauron would be a terrible dance partner, always leading the wrong way.

Bilbo’s birthday party was more epic than any birthday party I’ve ever been to.

One does not simply resist the temptation of a second breakfast.

Gimli’s axe is like his wingman, they’re inseparable.

Aragorn’s pick-up line: ‘Are you Gondor? Because you’re the kingdom I want to rule.’

Legolas could probably solve world hunger with his breadbasket.

Samwise Gamgee would be the perfect spotter at the gym, always there to help you push through.

If Frodo had a dating profile, his bio would just be ‘Ring-bearer seeking adventure.’

Gandalf may be wise, but he could use some brushing up on his cell phone technology.

Pippin and Merry should start a comedy duo, they’re always getting into funny situations.

Gollum should audition for a cooking show, he’s an expert at finding ‘preciouss’ ingredients.

Boromir’s last words were just a really elaborate way of saying ‘YOLO.’

Legolas should try out for America’s Got Talent, his archery skills are unreal.

If Sauron had a Yelp page, it would definitely have a lot of negative reviews.

Samwise Gamgee is the ultimate wingman, always keeping Frodo’s back.

Gimli could open his own wrestling school, his axe skills are unmatched.

If Gandalf had social media, his hashtag game would be strong: #YouShallNotPass, #WizardsUnited, #GreyTakesOver

Frodo’s ring is like my alarm clock, always trying to drag me back into reality.

Gollum would make an excellent speedrunner, always after that ‘world record’ ring.

Gimli’s beard is so majestic, it probably holds the secrets of the universe.

Aragorn’s love life would make for an epic romance novel: ‘The King and the Elf Princess.’

Legolas should try out for the Olympics, he could win gold in archery and hair flipping.

Boromir’s ‘one does not simply’ meme is the perfect way to describe my attempts at adulting.

If Sauron had a podcast, it would probably be called ‘The Eye of Wisdom.’

Gandalf would be the ultimate life coach, always pushing you to ‘strive for greatness.’

Frodo’s ring is like that last piece of pizza, you know you shouldn’t have it, but you can’t resist.

Gollum’s manic energy is like that friend who chugs too many energy drinks.

Boromir’s horn should have its own tour bus, it’s a true rockstar accessory.

Legolas should start a beauty vlog, his eyebrows are on point.

Gandalf’s fireworks are the equivalent of hotboxing the Shire.

Frodo’s journey is like trying to find a parking spot in a crowded city – long, treacherous, and filled with obstacles.

Gimli’s axe is like his security blanket, he never leaves home without it.

Aragorn’s ‘king of men’ title sounds like a great way to boost your dating profile.

Legolas’ hair is like a shampoo commercial, always flowing in the wind.

If Gandalf had a coffee order, it would be a venti ‘You Shall Not Espresso.’

Frodo and Sam’s bromance is stronger than any friendship in Middle-earth.

Gollum’s obsession with the ring is like me with a freshly baked batch of cookies.

Boromir’s ‘one does not simply’ line is the ultimate excuse for procrastination.

Legolas can shoot arrows with such accuracy that he’d make a great mosquito exterminator.

Gandalf’s staff can double as a selfie stick for those epic wizard selfies.

Frodo’s feet are like an archeological dig site, always finding random objects.

Gimli’s axe is like that friend who always has your back in a bar fight.

Aragorn’s rugged look is the result of spending too much time in the wilderness with limited grooming supplies.

Legolas’ aim is so good, he could probably hit a mosquito mid-flight.

Gandalf’s beard is like a storage space for all his magical secrets.

Frodo’s journey is like trying to find the perfect remote control spot on the couch – it may take a while, but it’s worth it.

Gollum should try his hand at Broadway, his dramatic monologues are Oscar-worthy.