Funny Lesbian Quotes

I never thought being a lesbian would make me an expert at fixing things, but here I am, always getting things straight.

Being a lesbian means I have twice the wardrobe options and half the closet space.

I used to think I was indecisive, but then I realized I was just bi…sexual.

Dating a girl is like dating your best friend, but with way more cute outfits.

They say love is blind, but I think love between two women has better fashion sense.

Being a lesbian means I never have to worry about a guy stealing my pizza.

I don’t like labels, but if I had to choose one, I would definitely choose ‘powered by rainbow love.’

Why try to find your ‘better half’ when you can find your ‘better whole’ in a loving relationship with a woman?

Lesbians know how to throw the best parties, because we’re experts at mixing drinks and mixing beats.

Being a lesbian is like having a WiFi password to a secret club that only cool people know.

I’m not your ‘girlfriend,’ I’m your ‘girl-frappe’ – sweet, refreshing, and always blended perfectly.

Love knows no gender, but a lesbian love knows how to DIY a stylish home.

Some people say two women can’t make a baby, but we sure know how to make a damn good margarita.

My life motto: ‘Love women, drink coffee, and always wear fabulous shoes.’

Being gay isn’t just rainbows and unicorns; it’s also about knowing the best brunch spots and memorizing every Beyonce song.

As a lesbian, I’ve mastered the art of subtly checking out a woman’s shoes without her even knowing.

The best part about being a lesbian is there is no such thing as a bad hair day – we rock bedhead like it’s a fashion statement.

Straight girls only wish they could experience the level of emotional intimacy that two women in love have.

Dating a woman means never having to pretend to be interested in sports.

Being gay doesn’t mean I have a magical ability to know where all the gay bars are…but it certainly helps.

Two women in love can move mountains…or at least rearrange the furniture to make room for a new reading nook.

Being a lesbian means never having to justify why I have so many plaid shirts.

I don’t need a prince charming to rescue me – I need a princess who can rock a power suit.

Remember, ladies: don’t chase after someone who isn’t willing to chase after you…or at least walk quickly.

They say ‘love is love,’ but let’s be honest, lesbian love often includes better playlists and dance parties at home.

People ask why I’m a lesbian; the real question is, why would I limit myself to just half of the amazing human population?

Want to know if someone is a lesbian without asking? Observe how they appreciate Ellen DeGeneres.

Being lesbian means I don’t need a man to open pickle jars, because I have the arm strength of Wonder Woman.

If they ever made a lesbian version of ‘The Bachelor,’ it would be called ‘The Bachelorette – maxed out roses edition.’

I may not have a fairy godmother, but every gay girl knows how to pull off a stunning makeover montage.

The best thing about being a lesbian? Always having a ‘ride-or-die’ partner for impromptu karaoke nights.

Dating a girl is like having a sleepover every night, complete with blanket forts and pillow fights.

Lesbian relationships remind me of Netflix – there’s always a good binge-watching partner by your side.

There’s something about holding a girl’s hand that makes you feel like you’re holding the world in your palm.

Being a lesbian means navigating the world with a GPS that leads straight to the cutest cafes and bookstores.

Lesbians know how to have a good time – we’re experts at turning any event into a dance party.

As a lesbian, I’ve mastered the art of finding the perfect balance between ‘soft and cuddly’ and ‘fierce and independent.’

Lesbian love blossoms like a beautiful flower, while heterosexual love often feels like a wilting cactus.

As a lesbian, I’m used to lighting up a room…and not just with my beautiful smile!

The best thing about being a lesbian is that periods sync up, so we can cuddle and binge-watch Netflix in solidarity.

Being a lesbian means having a best friend, lover, and partner all wrapped into one amazing human being.

Lesbian relationships are proof that J.K. Rowling was right – love is the most powerful magic of all.

Straight girls dream of finding their prince charming, but gay girls dream of finding their Hogwarts housemate.

As a lesbian, I believe in equal rights…and equal access to cute shoes.

Forget ‘Love is blind,’ lesbian love is like having 20/20 vision with rose-tinted glasses.

Being a lesbian means having the superpower to make any outfit look amazing with the addition of a flannel shirt.

Lesbians have the best pick-up lines – we know exactly what women want to hear.

I’m not a lesbian because I can’t find a man; I’m a lesbian because women are amazing.

Dating a girl is like having your own personal therapist and fashion consultant, all in one.

Lesbian relationships are proof that love can conquer anything, including stubborn jar lids.