Funny Health Quotes

Laughter is the best exercise for your facial muscles.

The secret to staying healthy is to never take yourself too seriously.

I eat healthy… most of the time. The other times, I eat chocolate.

Life is too short to count calories or do burpees.

Who needs abs when you can have kebabs?

I don’t always exercise, but when I do, it’s usually to reach the remote.

If eating cookies could be counted as cardio, I would be the fittest person alive.

The only running I do is running out of patience when waiting for pizza delivery.

I tried yoga once, but I couldn’t find the savasana position on the couch.

My diet consists of 90% Netflix and 10% guilt.

Forget about fit tea, I’m more of a sit and eat kind of person.

Working out is great, but have you ever tried napping?

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a lunch break.

Who needs a gym membership when you have a TV and a couch?

Salad is just a fancy word for a disappointment sandwich.

If sneezing burns calories, I would be the fittest person on Earth.

I don’t need a detox, I need a retox.

My relationship status with exercising is: We’re on a break.

I don’t sweat, I glow. Glowing is cute.

My fitness goal is to have a body that looks great in pajamas.

Working out is a pain in the butt… literally.

The only way I’ll do squats is if it means I can’t sit on the toilet for a week.

I don’t need a six-pack, I need a snack pack.

I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.

I spend 80% of my time thinking about food and the other 20% eating it.

They say laughter is the best medicine, so I guess I’m practically a doctor.

I walk so slowly that people behind me think time has stopped.

The most exercise I get is scrolling through my social media feed.

I wish my metabolism was as fast as my wifi connection.

I’m on a seafood diet – I see food and I eat it.

My favorite type of workout is when the bartender asks me if I want another drink.

If I had a dollar for every time I procrastinated going to the gym, I would have enough money to hire a personal trainer.

My ideal weight is the weight of my phone when it’s fully charged.

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys.

I love running – my mouth while eating pizza.

I eat so healthy, I could be a vegetable.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

I tried a kale smoothie once, and I’m still recovering from the trauma.

The only marathon I’m interested in is a Netflix marathon.

My exercise routine consists of lifting forks and spoons.

If wine is made from grapes which are fruits, does that mean drinking wine is a part of a healthy diet?

I put the die in diet.

I don’t need a gym buddy, I need a snack buddy.

I would exercise more, but I don’t want to spill my wine.

Fitbit: a device that measures how long it takes for me to get tired of exercise.

They say you are what you eat, so I guess I’m a couch potato.

I tried being vegetarian, but bacon laughed at me.

I don’t run because running works up an appetite, and I’m always hungry.

My favorite exercise is pushing the elevator button.

Health is important, but so is chocolate.