Funny Hate Quotes

I don’t hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.

I don’t hate you, but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.

Hate is such a strong word, but your face makes me want to test its power.

I’m not a fan of you, but I do enjoy the comedic value of your existence.

Hate is like a game of hide-and-seek, and you’re the world champion.

I don’t hate you, but if I had a dollar for every stupid thing you’ve said, I’d be rich.

I’m allergic to stupidity, and you’re a walking allergen.

Hate is a strong emotion, but you’ve managed to make it entertaining.

If hate was a sport, you would be the team mascot.

I don’t hate you, but I wouldn’t cry if you got hit by a bus.

Hate is too strong of a word to describe how much I love to see you fail.

You’re like a bad movie that I can’t stop watching, just to see how terrible it can get.

I don’t hate you, but I hope that a flock of seagulls steals your lunch every day for the rest of your life.

Hate is a strong word, but it perfectly captures my feelings towards your existence.

I would rather listen to Nickelback on repeat than spend another minute with you.

I’m not a fan of you, but your constant failures give me a good laugh.

I don’t hate you, but I would definitely enjoy watching you trip and fall in front of a crowd.

Hate is a strong emotion, but I reserve it for truly special people like you.

I don’t hate you, but I do find joy in imagining all the embarrassing things that could happen to you.

You’re like a mosquito buzzing in my ear – annoying, but also quite amusing.

Hate is such a strong word, but it accurately describes how I feel when you open your mouth.

I don’t hate you, but I would enjoy seeing you lose in a game of life.

Hate is a powerful emotion, but you somehow manage to make it funny.

I don’t hate you, but I do love watching you make a fool of yourself.

You’re like a comedy show that never fails to disappoint.

Hate is too strong of a feeling to waste on someone like you, but I can’t help but find you amusing.

I don’t hate you, but I do enjoy seeing you struggle.

Hate is such a negative emotion, but you bring out the best in it.

I don’t hate you, but I wouldn’t mind if you were never in my life.

Hate is a strong word, but it’s the only one that accurately describes my feelings towards you.

I don’t hate you, but I do find your presence amusingly annoying.

You’re like a clown without makeup – funny but also kind of terrifying.

Hate is too strong of a word, but it perfectly captures my feelings towards your incompetence.

I don’t hate you, but I wouldn’t shed a tear if you disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Hate is a powerful emotion, and you bring it out in the most entertaining ways.

I don’t hate you, but I do enjoy watching you stumble and fall.

You’re like a comedy act that I can’t help but laugh at, even though I know it’s wrong.

Hate is such a negative emotion, but it’s hard not to feel it when I’m around you.

I don’t hate you, but I would thoroughly enjoy watching you fail miserably.

Hate is too strong of a feeling, but I do love to see you make a fool of yourself.

I don’t hate you, but your existence does bring a certain level of amusement to my life.

You’re like a joke that never gets old – or funny, for that matter.

Hate is a powerful emotion, but you manage to make it comical.

I don’t hate you, but I do take pleasure in your failures.

Hate is such a negative emotion, but you make it almost enjoyable.

I don’t hate you, but I do love to see you struggle.

You’re like a clown at a funeral – both inappropriate and oddly amusing.

Hate is a strong word, but it accurately describes my feelings towards your incompetence.

I don’t hate you, but I wouldn’t mind if you disappeared from my life forever.

Hate is too strong of a feeling, but you bring out the most entertaining side of it.