Funny Coffee Quotes

I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark and full of possibilities.

Coffee: the only legal way to wake up in the morning.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

I drink coffee for your protection.

Coffee is my love language.

I like my coffee like I like my humor: dark and bitter.

Coffee: the reason I’m not a morning person.

Coffee: the essential fuel for a productive procrastinator.

I’m not a morning person until I’ve had my coffee… and then I’m not a person at all.

Coffee: the key to surviving Mondays, one cup at a time.

Coffee: the glorious liquid that turns ‘Leave me alone’ into ‘Good morning!’

I run on coffee, chaos, and inappropriate thoughts.

Coffee: because adulting is hard, and wine is expensive.

I only need coffee on days ending in ‘y’.

Coffee: the liquid hug for your brain.

Decaf coffee: pointless, like the letter ‘k’ in ‘kitchen’.

I like my coffee like I like my humor: dark and twisted.

Life happens. Coffee helps.

Coffee: a magical substance that turns ‘Leave me alone’ into ‘Good morning!’

I like my coffee like I like my superheroes: strong, bold, and always saving the day.

Coffee: because anger management is far more expensive.

My blood type is coffee.

Coffee: the solution to all of life’s problems since 9th century Ethiopia.

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.

Smell the coffee, breathe it in, embrace the chaos.

Coffee: the answer to ‘What’s brewin’?’

Coffee: my liquid sanity.

I like my coffee like I like my mornings: caffeinated and full of hope.

Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

Coffee: the life-saving drink that unites coworker enemies at 8 AM.

Coffee: the original anti-depressant.

I like coffee because it gives me unrealistic expectations about my productivity.

Coffee is my spirit animal.

I don’t need an alarm clock, I have coffee.

Coffee: the beverage that gives me unrealistic optimism about my mornings.

Coffee: the reason I am a functioning human being.

Espresso yourself, or stay latte.

Coffee: because Mondays were invented to make you appreciate caffeine.

Coffee breaks were invented to make Mondays less terrible.

Coffee: the reason I’m not a morning zombie.

Don’t speak to me until I’ve had my coffee. And even then, proceed with caution.

Coffee: the liquid bridge between sleep and productivity.

I like my coffee like I like my humor: dark and brewed in a cauldron.

Everything gets better with coffee. Except Mondays.

Coffee: the fuel that keeps my sarcasm engine running.

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