Funny Batman Quotes

I’m not saying I’m Batman, but no one has ever seen Batman and me in the same room.

I’m like Batman, but with a slightly less impressive utility belt.

I’m Batman, but I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.

Being Batman is great, but have you ever tried eating a burrito in the Batmobile?

I’m Batman, and I still can’t parallel park.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about finding the perfect Halloween costume.

I’m Batman, and I’m definitely not responsible for all those missing socks.

I’m like Batman, but with less martial arts skills and more pizza-eating abilities.

I’m Batman, but I still ask Siri for directions.

As Batman, I have all these gadgets, but no one told me how to delete my browsing history.

I’m Batman, and even I can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about matching socks.

I’m like Batman, but with less money and more dad jokes.

I’m Batman, and I can’t even remember the last time I bought new underwear.

I’m Batman, but I still can’t figure out how to get ketchup out of the bottle without making a mess.

Being Batman is great, but have you ever tried going through TSA security with a utility belt?

I’m Batman, and even I can’t resist the allure of a good sale at the mall.

I’m like Batman, but instead of fighting crime, I spend my nights watching Netflix.

I’m Batman, but I still haven’t figured out how to tie a tie properly.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about getting a bad haircut.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to get rid of those pesky telemarketers.

I’m like Batman, but instead of fighting villains, I fight the urge to hit the snooze button.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to make the perfect cup of coffee.

Being Batman is great, but have you ever tried eating wings in the Batcave? It’s messy.

I’m Batman, and I can’t even remember the last time I flossed.

I’m Batman, but I still haven’t figured out how to fold a fitted sheet without getting frustrated.

I’m like Batman, but instead of a Batmobile, I drive a minivan.

I’m Batman, and even I can’t resist the allure of a good sale at the grocery store.

I’m Batman, but I still can’t figure out how to tell someone their fly is down without it being awkward.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about finding the perfect gift for Mother’s Day.

I’m Batman, and I still haven’t figured out how to change the toilet paper roll without it falling off.

I’m like Batman, but instead of fighting crime, I fight the temptation to eat dessert before dinner.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to take a good selfie.

Being Batman is great, but have you ever tried getting gum out of your cape?

I’m Batman, and I can’t even remember the last time I sent a handwritten thank-you note.

I’m Batman, but I still haven’t figured out how to fold a fitted sheet without it turning into a wrestling match.

I’m like Batman, but instead of a utility belt, I carry around a fanny pack.

I’m Batman, and even I can’t resist the allure of a good pun.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to choose the fastest checkout line at the grocery store.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about remembering someone’s name.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to open a jar without asking for help.

I’m like Batman, but instead of fighting villains, I fight the urge to take a nap.

I’m Batman, and I still haven’t figured out how to fold a fitted sheet without it becoming a crumpled mess.

Being Batman is great, but have you ever tried having a conversation while wearing a cowl? It’s muffled.

I’m Batman, and I can’t even remember the last time I wrote a check.

I’m Batman, but I still haven’t figured out how to tie a bowtie without a YouTube tutorial.

I’m like Batman, but instead of fighting crime, I fight the temptation to eat an entire bag of chips.

I’m Batman, and even I can’t resist the allure of a good meme.

I’m Batman, and I still can’t figure out how to parallel park without scratching the Batmobile.

Being Batman is tough, but at least I never have to worry about finding my keys.