Borat Quotes: Hilarious and Memorable Lines from Sacha Baron Cohen’s Iconic Character

In my country, they would go crazy for a woman like you. Here, not so much.

Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium. Other countries have inferior potassium.

My sister, she is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.

My hobbies include disco dancing, archery, rape, and table tennis.

I like buy table. So many scrapes and stains on this.

I arrive at Hertz expecting a Porsche, but instead they give me a Boostmaster. I was very disappoint.

In Kazakhstan, we have saying: ‘When a man looks in a mirror, he sees his future self.’

My favorite American film is ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ because they are also heroes in a half shell.

In Kazakhstan, we have saying: ‘When a woman goes on a date, she must ensure her vagine is in sharp condition.’

I like your photographs, they are not from Sears catalog.

In my country, we say ‘Take what you want, it’s legal.’

I like your clothes. They are very… black.

I cannot have car. It is very difficult to park your camel in downtown Almaty.

In my country, we have strong misogynistic traditions. Women should be seen but not heard, unless they are serving you drink.

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘A horse is your best friend, but a woman can be a horse for a short time.’

In my country, we have problem with jew. Jew who have way too much money, jew who run diamond trade, jew who buy all the big houses. It is very hard for regular Kazakh to compete with jew.

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘When the cat is away, the mice will play with themselves.’

In my country, we use the tears of orphans to make delicious ice cream. It is very creamy.

I like your tablecloth. In Kazakhstan, we do not have such luxury. We use newspaper.

In Kazakhstan, we have great tradition of keeping our older people locked away in cages. It is very peaceful for them.

I like your house, it is very big. In my country, we have small house made of mud and full of goat.

In Kazakhstan, we have saying: ‘If you are a woman, you must shave your anus.’

I like your culture. In Kazakhstan, we only have culture of horse meat and fermented horse milk.

In my country, we have great respect for donkey. Donkey is national animal. We even put donkey on our money.

I like your fashion. In Kazakhstan, we wear suit made out of human hair. It is very stylish.

In Kazakhstan, we do not have such luxurious peasant farmers. Our peasants eat rocks for breakfast.

Do you use the bathroom? In Kazakhstan, we use the same hole for both bathroom and kitchen.

In my country, we do not have such thing as ‘feminism.’ Our women know their place – in the kitchen.

I like your customs. In Kazakhstan, we have custom of wrestling nude with other men. It is very traditional.

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘The man who wears burlap sack for underwear will never get cold.’

I like your language. It is very difficult to pronounce, like tongue twister.

In my country, we have great healthcare system. We have one doctor for every thousand people.

I like your mountains. In Kazakhstan, our highest peak is a pot of boiling oil.

Let us toast to the success of my people, and the failure of yours.

In Kazakhstan, we have saying: ‘If you marry a Kazakh woman, get ready to do all the housework yourself.’

I like your traditional dances. In Kazakhstan, our traditional dance is called ‘Breakdance of the Carcass.’ It is very spiritual.

Let us have a man hug. But not too tight, I do not want to get pregnant.

In Kazakhstan, our national bird is vulture. It is very beautiful, and it eats the dead.

I like your weather. It is very cold, like Kazakhstan in winter. We freeze our ass off.

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘If you cannot afford horse, you must ride your wife.’

I like your fast food. In Kazakhstan, we have national dish called ‘Horse Burger.’

In my country, our wives are property, like goat or tractor.

I like your music. In Kazakhstan, we only have one song – ‘Kazakh National Anthem.’

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘If you cannot afford prostitute, you must have anal sex with goat.’

I like your democracy. In Kazakhstan, we also have democracy – it is called ‘do what the president says or go to prison.’

In my country, we do not have such thing as ‘police.’ Our criminals police themselves.

I like your politicians. They are very honest, unlike ours who steal from the people.

In Kazakhstan, we say ‘Man who wear underwear made from potato sack will be lucky for life.’

I like your technology. In Kazakhstan, we still use abacus for our calculations.

In my country, we have saying: ‘If you have a good laugh, you will not be shot.’