Bill Brasky Quotes

Bill Brasky once ate an entire Italian restaurant, then asked for seconds.

Bill Brasky’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

If Bill Brasky were a superhero, his special power would be making everyone around him feel inadequate.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a grizzly bear… and won.

Bill Brasky invented the internet by sneezing really hard.

Bill Brasky once ran a marathon backwards… blindfolded.

Bill Brasky once bench pressed a Volkswagen Beetle… with his pinky finger.

Bill Brasky’s brain is so powerful, he can control the weather with his thoughts.

Bill Brasky once won a staring contest with a statue… and made it blink.

Bill Brasky can eat an entire pizza in one bite… and still have room for dessert.

Bill Brasky once wrestled a shark… underwater.

Bill Brasky can speak every language in the world… even ones he made up.

Bill Brasky’s farts have been known to cure the common cold.

Bill Brasky once climbed Mount Everest… in flip flops.

Bill Brasky can juggle flaming bowling balls… blindfolded.

Bill Brasky’s muscles have muscles.

Bill Brasky once won a game of chess… with his eyes closed.

Bill Brasky can solve a Rubik’s Cube… in less than a second.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a gorilla… and made it cry.

Bill Brasky doesn’t need a cell phone… he can communicate with birds.

Bill Brasky can run faster than a cheetah… even with a broken leg.

Bill Brasky once swam across the Atlantic Ocean… with one arm tied behind his back.

Bill Brasky’s breath smells like freshly baked cookies… even when he hasn’t brushed his teeth.

Bill Brasky can fly… he just prefers not to show off.

Bill Brasky once played a game of golf… with a flamingo as his caddy.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a T-rex… and won by using his pinky finger.

Bill Brasky’s voice can be heard from space… and it sounds like a symphony.

Bill Brasky can hold his breath for three hours… underwater.

Bill Brasky invented a time machine… just so he could go back and punch himself in the face.

Bill Brasky once ran a marathon… wearing roller skates.

Bill Brasky’s sweat can cure baldness… too bad he has a full head of hair.

Bill Brasky can create art using only his mind… and a pencil.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a giant squid… and turned it into calamari.

Bill Brasky’s smile can light up a room… even in complete darkness.

Bill Brasky can walk on water… and do a handstand at the same time.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a volcano… and made it erupt.

Bill Brasky can read minds… and tell you what you had for breakfast.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a tornado… and made it apologize.

Bill Brasky can whistle while eating crackers… and never crumbs fall out.

Bill Brasky’s golf swing is so powerful, it created a black hole.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a hippopotamus… and turned it into a pet.

Bill Brasky can eat a bowl of nails for breakfast… without milk.

Bill Brasky can do a handstand… on top of a skyscraper.

Bill Brasky’s sneeze can blow down a brick wall… five miles away.

Bill Brasky can levitate… and make it look effortless.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a tornado… and made it give up.

Bill Brasky’s yawn can create a gust of wind… strong enough to knock you over.

Bill Brasky can do a backflip… while juggling chainsaws.

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled a lion… and made it roar in defeat.

Bill Brasky can solve a crossword puzzle… by blinking his eyes.