Bart Simpson Quotes

I will not waste chalk

I didn’t do it

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?

I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?

Being popular is the most important thing in life… next to being rich, powerful, and intelligent.

I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.

Do you donut promise?

I will not skateboard in the halls

I didn’t see nuffin

I’m more comfortable as a participant of awkwardness than a spectator

I will not fake my way through life.

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not burp in class

If I don’t have to do it, it don’t exist.

I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.

I will not deface Principal Skinner’s car

I will not trade pants with others

What do I want? What do I really want? I want someone to be there for me. To understand everything about me, even the things I can’t understand or accept about myself.

I will not call my teacher hotcakes

I will not bring sheep to class

If I have a black belt, nudity will no longer be embarrassing.

I am so great, I am so great, everybody loves me, I am so great!

I will not cut corners

I will never find a better role model than myself.

I promise to write neater so my teacher won’t think I’m slow.

I will not eat things for money.

I will not skateboard on the roof of the school

I will not hang donuts on my person

I promise to go postal at the cleverest opportunity.

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

I will stop phoning it in.

I will not illegally download this movie.

I will only provide a urine sample when asked.

I will not stare at the wall

I will not climb the Christmas tree

Just because I’m a boy doesn’t mean I can’t wear a dress.

I will not make up new words

I will not flip the classroom upside down

I will not yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded classroom

I will not prank call Moe’s Tavern

I will not teach others that ‘D’ comes after ‘A’ in the alphabet

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not make fun of my family

I will not bring a burrito to gym class

I will not pretend to be a substitute teacher

I will not deface the school

I will not turn the classroom into a zoo

I will not make up false holidays

I will not stick magnets on my teacher

I will not give chocolate laxatives to my classmates