Bar Funny Quotes

I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m just a bartender’s best customer.

I like my beer like I like my Fridays – cold and refreshing.

I’m not drunk, I’m participating in a study on the effects of alcohol.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking opportunity.

Beer: because no good story starts with a salad.

I only drink on days that end with ‘Y’.

Drinking is like a workout, except I’m not running… or lifting… or doing anything remotely athletic.

I don’t need therapy, I just need a glass of wine.

Life is too short to drink bad wine.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I’m not always drinking, but when I am, I’m usually at a bar.

I have mixed drinks about feelings.

I like my whiskey like I like my men – strong and full of character.

Tequila: because vodka doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional drinker.

I’m not drunk, I’m just practicing my dance moves.

The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.

I’m not drinking alone, I’m socializing with my cat.

Cocktails: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Beer: a hug in a glass.

I didn’t text you, tequila did.

Wine: because adulting is hard.

I make pour decisions.

Drinking is how I take my vitamins.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by life.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast.

Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink beer.

I work out so I can drink beer guilt-free.

Every hour is happy hour when you’re at the bar.

Life is too short to drink bad whiskey.

Drink the wine, feel the fine.

I don’t need a love potion, I just need a margarita.

Wine: because it’s not good to keep things bottled up.

I didn’t choose the bar life, the bar life chose me.

I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to be at a bar.

Drinking: because adulting is hard.

I only drink on days ending in ‘Y’ because it’s important to have hobbies.

I may not be the life of the party, but I’m definitely the thirst of the party.

My biggest problem in life is deciding which wine to drink.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy… and a little bit tipsy.

They say milk is good for your bones, but I prefer my calcium in beer form.

I don’t need a prince charming, I need a bartender who knows how to make a good martini.

Life is too short to drink bad tequila.

I’m not a big drinker, I’m a tiny bartender.

Tequila: because it’s always a good idea.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution for every problem.

I don’t sweat, I sparkle – with a drink in my hand.

I don’t need therapy, I just need a margarita.