Archie Bunker Quotes: A Journey Through His Best Lines
You can’t have it both ways! You can’t keep her on the pedestal and keep her in the bedroom!
Just because we’re progressive doesn’t mean we’re progressing.
Experience is the best teacher, but in your case, it’s the only teacher.
My kind of humor is not for everybody… And your kind sure ain’t for me.
If everybody around here agreed with me, we’d all be right.
They say blood is thicker than water, but it sure can’t wash away all the sins of the world.
A house is like a fortress, you gotta always be ready to defend it.
In the good old days, we had laws to protect ourselves from our neighbors. Now, we need laws to protect ourselves from our laws.
Just because a chicken’s got feathers doesn’t mean it can fly.
If you want a little peace, sometimes you got to fight for it.
Time don’t wait for no man, unless that man is waiting for time.
There’s no point in arguing with you if you’re not going to listen to common sense.
The point of having an opinion is so I can share it with you.
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, especially if the sow’s wearing it.
Life ain’t all beer and skittles, but there’s no reason it can’t be.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can sure make misery a lot more comfortable.
In this world, you gotta think big… But enjoy the little things.
Your part doesn’t become a role until you make it one.
I can live without music, but I can’t exist without laughter.
There’s people in this life who are taken and there are people who are givers; it’s better to give than to be taken.
Just because a guy’s got a lot of dough, that don’t make him a good person.
In the dictionary under ‘stupid’, they got your picture.
Everyone’s got to have someone to look down on.
You know, there’s a thin line between love and hate, and you’re erasing it very quickly.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless, of course, you’ve got a bad heart.
You’d argue with a signpost.
I?ve got no problem telling it like it is.
Learn to take a joke, will ya?
Life ain?t easy when you got as much on your plate as I do.
A wise man once said – who was that anyway?
Well, the country is going to hell, ain’t it?
Reality, what a concept!
Go out and get a job, and buy your own damn beer.
We hold these truths to be self-evident ? you know, the thing.
Old days were good. People knew their place.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating. And I ate a lot of pudding.
I don?t get no respect, no respect at all.
It takes a big man to cry. But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
You’re a meathead, dead from the neck up.
All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
Just because a guy’s got a lot of dough, that doesn’t make him a smarty.
Oh, go eat a decroded piece of crap.
A car don’t make a man.
You’d better start going to bed earlier, your mind’s getting fuzzier than your hair.
Stifle yourself, Edith!
The reason you don’t understand me, Edith, is because I’m talkin’ in English and you’re listenin’ in dingbat.
You can’t have no luck when you’re dealing with morons.
In your case, college won’t prove nothing except that you’re a four year idiot.
You know you’re getting old when you bend down to tie your shoe and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
I’ll know how to treat you when they pass a law telling me how.
Sure, I respect the dead… bury ’em, that’s what I say.
I don’t get no respect, I tell ya.
In the dictionary under the word stupid, you find a picture of you.
I ain’t got no female son.
I got better things to worry about than trying to get these ink stains off my fingers.