Alien quotes

Take me to your leader, or at least to the nearest coffee shop.

In space, no one can hear you scream, but I sure can see you panic.

Greetings, Earthlings! We come in peace, but we’d really appreciate some tacos.

I may be from another planet, but I still struggle to parallel park.

They say home is where the heart is, but in my case, it’s where the spaceship is.

I’ve traveled galaxies, but your cat videos still manage to mesmerize me.

To be honest, I feel more comfortable in zero gravity than in high heels.

If we ever make contact with extraterrestrial life, I hope they enjoy puns as much as we do.

Earth: where ‘may I speak to the manager’ is a universally understood phrase.

I followed your GPS directions, but somehow ended up in the Bermuda Triangle. Help?

Aliens may have advanced technology, but we still haven’t figured out how to properly fold a fitted sheet.

If Earth were a reality TV show, I’d be binge-watching it right now.

I didn’t come all this way just to be served lukewarm coffee. Bring on the java!

I accidentally shook hands with a cactus once. It was a very ‘alien meets Earth’ moment.

I may be an extraterrestrial, but I still appreciate a good slice of pizza.

Earthlings, can we all just agree that pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity?

I learned about Earth’s history through reruns of ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Friends.’ Can you blame me?

Earth may be 75% water, but I haven’t seen a decent wave pool anywhere.

I traveled millions of light-years to meet you, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Do I have to wear pants on this planet? Asking for a friend.

I’ve never understood Earth’s fascination with avocado toast. Can someone explain?

I’ve been abducted by Earthlings more times than I can count. Can’t a visitor catch a break?

Earth: where traffic jams are a daily reminder that you’re not in space anymore.

You call these ‘french fries’? Let me show you how it’s done on my home planet.

It’s not easy being green, but it’s definitely harder being the only non-green creature around.

I used to be a star, but now I’m just a planet-hopping alien trying to fit in.

If I had a dollar for every time I was mistaken for an inflatable lawn decoration, I’d be a very rich alien.

Earth may have gravity, but I still prefer floating around like a cosmic leaf in the wind.

I traveled through countless galaxies to find intelligent life, and all I found was reality TV.

Earth’s weather is a rollercoaster of emotions. Can we stick to a consistent climate, please?

Humanity’s obsession with selfies is truly out of this world. Literally.

If there’s one thing aliens and humans have in common, it’s a love for good music.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can make crop circles with my eyes closed.

I’ve met some interesting characters in my intergalactic travels, but never a Kardashian.

Earth’s gravity is a real buzzkill when you’re used to moonwalking effortlessly.

Do you have Wi-Fi here? I need to upload some photos of your bizarre human habits to my alien blog.

If Earth had a Yelp page, I’d give it four stars for the tacos and zero stars for the parking.

Aliens may have advanced technology, but we still haven’t figured out how to silence a group chat.

Sometimes I look up at the stars from Earth and feel homesick for a place I’ve never been.

You call this ‘fast food’? I’ve seen faster speeds in a snail marathon.

I thought Earthlings were obsessed with cats until I discovered the internet’s love for memes.

If I had a spaceship for every time someone told me ‘they’d love to pick my brain,’ I’d have a fleet.

Earth’s fashion trends change faster than I can learn to pronounce ‘Versace.’

It’s nice to know that no matter how far I travel, there will always be a McDonald’s nearby.

Can someone explain why Earth has more reality TV shows than advanced communication systems?

I may be an alien, but even I know not to wear socks with sandals.

Earth’s concept of time is as perplexing to me as deciphering hieroglyphics with a blindfold on.

Have you tried Earth’s ‘pizza’ yet? It’s basically a way for humans to legally eat melted cheese on bread.

If Earth were a dessert, it’d definitely be a melting sundae filled with colorful sprinkles of chaos.

You know you’ve been on Earth too long when missing your spaceship feels like homesickness.