Alexis Rose Quotes: The Best Lines from Schitt’s Creek’s Fashionista

I’m a Lamborghini, I’m a Hollywood star. I’m a little bit tipsy, when I drive my car.

Do I feel like a failure who’s wasted years of her life on a degree she’ll never use, debating unsubstantiated theories with elitist scholars? Hard, hard no.

I don?t skate through life, David. I walk through life, in really nice shoes.

You know what, David? You get murdered first for once.

Love that journey for me!

My eyes are brown, and I am cute and broken.

Um, I haven’t bedazzled anything since I was

When it’s time, it’s time. You can’t plan these things.

There?s something very intoxicating about you when you’re making a point.

Like Beyonce, I excel as a solo artist.

What now? Do I leave everything behind and move to some random town and invest in a motel?

You’ll be like the Don Draper of Schitt’s Creek?only like way older.

It?s just one long string of really bad luck and I don?t know what kind of carnage I inflicted in my past life to deserve it.

I don?t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as ‘up for anything.’

Stop doing that thing with your face!

Ew, David!

I think you’re my best friend.

It’s just a checkpoint…not a destination.

We may not skate through life, but if we walk through life together we’ll be fine. We’ll be more than fine.

Are you ready? Let’s do it!

I’m a Lamborghini, I’m a Hollywood star. I’m a little bit tipsy, when I drive my car.

You’re not a tourist, are you? Because you’re the only sight I see.

I have had a very long, hard day. I mean, the unspeakable happened. A bird flew into the Peach Pit.

I am not just a rose. I am the whole damn garden!

You’ve just got to love yourself, darling. If you don’t, who will?

I’ve been on reality TV, I’ve survived high school, I battled an evil queen.

Don’t tell me to calm down! I’m at a very precarious stage of my stimulation right now.

They say champagne is the nectar of the gods. But I say it’s a hangover in a glass.

I know I’m not perfect but I strive to be the best version of myself.

If Beyonce can survive a Destiny’s Child, then so can I.

Why would I ever put on airs? I’m already in the sky!

Trust me, I have seen enough Lifetime movies to know what will happen next.

Look, I’ve had a really…unexpected day. I’m going to turn in…early.

I’d rather be perceived as classy than easy.

I’ve danced my way out of worse.

I care, okay? I care a lot. It’s kinda my thing.

Do I have to remind you of the time I was taken hostage on David Geffen?s yacht?

This wine is awful, give me another glass.

I am constantly victimized by my own vocal inflection.

Until you’ve heard four Kosovan backup singers going flat on a catamaran, you haven’t suffered.

I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.

You might want to rethink the nightgown first. There’s a whole Ebenezer Scrooge thing happening.

My eyes are brown, David, okay? I don’t know what you want me to tell you. They?re brown! I was up all night, I’m exhausted, my eyes are brown!

Where in the handbook of casual banter does it say that we should resort to body shaming?

Can you remember to talk slower? I literally have zero idea what you just said.

Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I?m a little bit Alexis.

Why would I pay someone to do online shopping for me? It’s literally the one thing I’m good at.

Positive is like a state of mind.

Okay, you try parallel parking in a burka, David. No amount of flirting will get you out of a ticket in Dubai.

Stop doing that thing where you think you’re my mother. These quotes characterize Alexis Rose, a character from the television series Schitt’s Creek, as a funny, quirky, and independent individual.